🔶In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. 🔸What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Pareting
is Correct your spelling
Parenting
a hard work
and we agree that parents always want the best for their Remove the article
hard work
a hard job
children
, most of them and
depending Correct word choice
apply
of
their culture they used to teach Change preposition
on
to
infants how to encourage themselves in hard moments. Change preposition
apply
During
Change preposition
In
this
essay
I will expose the Add a comma
essay,
advatanges
and disadvantages of Correct your spelling
advantages
told to
Wrong verb form
telling
children
that they can achieve anything if they try hard enought
.
On one hand, the advantages of Correct your spelling
enough
this
behavior
are that Change the spelling
behaviour
boost
a child's self-worth and confidence, Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
also
, motivates to
set ambitious goals, fostering a growth mindset. Correct pronoun usage
them to
For instance
, Mariana PajĂłn is reconized
in Correct your spelling
recognised
media
as Correct article usage
the media
"Queen
of BMX", when she was a little girl her parents and coach taught her to be strong, Correct article usage
the "Queen
perseverance
, self-esteem, Replace the word
perseverant
confidence
and among others, Correct word choice
and confidence
that
strengthened her mindset at a young age. Now, she has been Correct pronoun usage
apply
two-time
Olympic Champion.
Correct article usage
a two-time
On the other hand
, the disadvatanges
are more related to think what happen if you can achieve your goalCorrect your spelling
disadvantages
?.
Boys and girlsChange the punctuation
.
,
could create unrealistic expectations. Remove the comma
apply
Thus
, the results will never match efforts. In adittion
, mental health will Correct your spelling
addition
be affect
by stress and burnout because they are young people most of the time they are not Change the verb form
be affected
goin
to be prepared how to Correct your spelling
going
managed
the stress derived from disappointment. To give an example, nowadays is known that Change the form of the verb
manage
children
want to be influencers, such
as Lele Pons and they want to have all that Lele Pons shows on media, but, what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
children
don't what path they have to follow.
To conclude
, children
need to have enought
tools to manage their feelings and parents should be with them in Correct your spelling
enough
all
the process to be aware of them, giving Correct determiner usage
apply
to
them Change preposition
apply
advices
related to the goals that they want to achieve.Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
Submitted by mariajoser3 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Try to avoid spelling and grammatical errors such as 'advatanges' and 'used to teach to infants.' Proofreading can help identify these mistakes.
clarity
Improve sentence clarity and structure. For instance, 'most of them and depending of their culture they used to teach to infants' can be revised to 'many parents, depending on their culture, often teach their children.'
examples
While you provide relevant examples, ensure they align closely with the point being made and elaborate slightly more to emphasize their relevance.
transitions
Ensure smooth transitions between points. Using transition words like 'Additionally,' 'Therefore,' or 'Moreover,' can help maintain logical flow.
content
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of the topic quite comprehensively.
examples
You have used relevant examples, like that of Mariana PajĂłn and Lele Pons, which help illustrate your points well.
conclusion
The conclusion summarizes key points effectively, providing a clear closing statement.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!