IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many, small local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does thsi affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

#shops #supermarkets #area #thsi #communities #situation
Many local stores are forced to
be closed
Wrong verb form
close
show examples
 because they cannot compete with the supermarkets.
As a result
, lack of product diversity
in addition
financial
Change preposition
to financial
show examples
 capacity, but
this
 can be tackled by
supporting
Replace the word
support
show examples
 from
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
in addition
learn
Wrong verb form
to learning
show examples
 new skills.
Firstly
, several of
shops
Correct article usage
the shops
show examples
 suffer from poor product selection.
In other words
, lacking
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
product choices leads people who want outdoor products
are
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
 driven to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
large supermarkets.
As a consequence
, there is no doubt that
this
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
 will lead to the closure of local
shops
.
Secondly
, financial capacity.
Due to
 the weak financial capacity of small
businesses
, they are threatened with extinction, especially in competition with large
businesses
,
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 small shop workers will lose their jobs and suffer from issues
such
 as poverty,
And
Correct your spelling
and which
show examples
then
 it might lead to bigger problems,
for instance
, homelessness. One effective solution to deal with
this
 issue is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
government
 and
population
support
.
That is
 to say, the
government
 and the
population
 should
support
 and help small
businesses
 to develop furtherFor example, the
government
 should cooperate with small
businesses
 in several aspects,
such
 as reducing taxes, which would these
businesses
, grow and succeed in the future. As for the
support
 of the
population
, it will be in terms of appreciation and moral
support
. Showing appreciation to the owners of small
shops
 when visiting their
shops
 or interacting with them encourages them to continue. In conclusion,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
 when small
businesses
 or
shops
 close,
this
 damage will
also
 affect society in many ways.
nevertheless
,
government
 and
population
support
 has an effective impact on solving
this
Correct your spelling
problem
proble
Correct your spelling
problem
Submitted by s_syedy on

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notes
Be careful with grammar and spelling to enhance clarity. For instance, correctly spell words like 'this' and use appropriate articles, such as 'a' before 'weak financial capacity.'
specific examples
Expand on the ideas presented by adding more specific examples to provide evidence for the arguments made.
sentence structures
Aim to use a greater variety of sentence structures to improve readability and demonstrate language proficiency.
response
The essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both the effects on local communities and potential solutions.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and appropriately summarize the main points of the essay.
clarity
Clear ideas and main points are presented, making the essay straightforward to follow.
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