Many students now work whilst they are studying in college or university. This often results in them having less time to concentrate on their studies as well as feeling under pressure. What are some of the causes of this? What solutions could you suggest?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →

Introduction

A lot of college and university

students

Use synonyms

now work part-time, resulting

Change preposition

in a

show examples

stressful situation and fewer hours for them to focus on their studies.

One

Use synonyms

of the causes for

this

Linking Words

problem is the fact that nowadays

tuition

Use synonyms

fees

Use synonyms

are increasing drastically. As a solution, financial help from the government towards the

education

Use synonyms

sector should be added.

Body · 1

The large number of

students

Use synonyms

who

also

Linking Words

work might

Linking Words

due

Add a missing verb

be due

show examples

to the current situation where

tuition

Use synonyms

fees

Use synonyms

are very expensive.

As a result

Linking Words

, more

students

Use synonyms

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

ought to make more money independently to pay for educational needs.

For instance

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

one

Use synonyms

of the top universities in Bandung must spare twelve and a half million rupiah to be able to start their semester.

This

Linking Words

is a very large amount of payment, considering the average income of Indonesians

are

Change the verb form

show examples

approximately 3 million rupiah per month.

Body · 2

One

Use synonyms

of the resolutions to combat

this

Linking Words

issue is the government should increase the budget allocated for

education

Use synonyms

, especially for college and university level. It will cost a lot of money, but it is a

long term

Add a hyphen

long-term

show examples

investment for the nation because better

education

Use synonyms

will produce more high-skilled productive

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

. Germany is a great role model in

education

Use synonyms

for other nations because they offer free

tuition

Use synonyms

fees

Use synonyms

for university

students

Use synonyms

Consequently

Linking Words

, their

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

one

Use synonyms

of the most educated and skilled in the world.

Conclusion

To conclude

Linking Words

, the high amount of

tuition

Use synonyms

fees

Use synonyms

might be why

students

Use synonyms

are now taking part-time jobs. To overcome

this

Linking Words

problem, subsidies from the feds towards

education

Use synonyms

should be issued.

muhammadraditya9

Sep 22, 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clarity

Work on improving clarity in your explanations. Ensure that your points and examples are very straightforward to understand.

support

Ensure that your arguments are well-supported with examples and not repetitive. Use a variety of examples to bolster your arguments.

language

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vocabulary range. While minor errors are acceptable, aim for a higher level of precision and complexity in language.

structure

You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps establish a structured response.

examples

The examples used are relevant and help to illustrate the main points effectively.

task-response

The essay covers the task prompts comprehensively, providing a complete response to the question.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally.
In recent years, the tourism industry has developed , so it has led English to the most dominant language in the globe. Although this trend could facilitate global communication and international trade, it could result in the vanishing of different cultures around the world.
6.5
band
Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out in restaurants. Do you agree or disagree?
There is a common belief that preparing meals and dining at home will have more benefits for individuals and households as compared to having meals outside. I strongly advocate that sharing a meal at home will be far more advantageous as it is healthier, and families also have high-quality bonding time eating together in their houses.
8
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
People have very divided opinions about whether should children be taught only academic subjects at school so that they can concentrate on their studies. This essay will disagree with the previous statement because these courses provide kids with practical and incredibly important life skills.
7
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
In life, we usually think about who we will become in the future. When I was a child, I was often told not to be an employee, and to be the boss instead. Nowadays, many people also choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. To better understand this phenomenon, we will search together the advantages and disadvantages of being self-employed.
6
band
you recently received a letter fron you bank that should have contained a new credit card. Unfortunately, the card was not in the letter. Write a letter to your bank manager. I your letter, Explain what has happened suggest the credit card should be cancelled for security reasons ask when a new credit card can be sent to you.
Trust this letter meets you well?

Many students now work whilst they are studying in college or university. This often results in them having less time to concentrate on their studies as well as feeling under pressure. What are some of the causes of this? What solutions could you suggest?

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally.

Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out in restaurants. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?