The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2014.

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2014.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph provides information about
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
of fish and some different types of
meat
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as
chicken
Use synonyms
, beef, and lamb in a country
that is
Linking Words
located in Europe in a period range of 1979 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the line chart is that the
only
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
consumption of
chicken
Use synonyms
rose considerably over
this
Linking Words
twenty-five-year period,
however
Linking Words
, the other kinds of
meat
Use synonyms
suffered
decline
Add an article
a decline
show examples
.
Initionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
in
1979
Add a comma
1979,
show examples
the highest consumed
meat
Use synonyms
was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
chicken
Use synonyms
with about 220
grams
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, the
grams
Use synonyms
per person per week for the beef and lamb were nearly the same with about 145
grams
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fish was the lowest consumed
meat
Use synonyms
with roughly 55
grams
Use synonyms
. Regarding the
cjanges
Correct your spelling
changes
in 2004, the
statitistics
Correct your spelling
statistics
showed that the lines were not the same as
lines
Correct article usage
the lines
show examples
in 1979. The gap between
chicken
Use synonyms
and lamb had widened
iver
Correct your spelling
over
this
Linking Words
time and the results were approximately 250 and 60, respectively.
Between
Change preposition
Among
show examples
these kinds of
meat
Use synonyms
was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beef with about 110
grams
Use synonyms
per person per week.
Finally
Linking Words
, fish remained
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the lowest consumed
meat
Use synonyms
with
nearlyt
Correct your spelling
nearly
50
grams
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words meat, chicken, grams with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • fish
  • meat
  • poultry
  • beef
  • lamb
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • gradual
  • significant
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • trough
  • steady
  • correlation
  • period
  • data
  • comparison
  • predominant
  • kilograms per capita
  • dietary habits
  • health consciousness
  • sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: