In many developing countries, there is an increasing movement of workers from rural areas into the cities. Why do you think this happens? What problems can this cause?
From my
viepoints
, Correct your spelling
viewpoint
viewpoints
cities
now have more opportunities
for workers
from rural, and younger worker
always want more development. But some voices Fix the agreement mistake
workers
wolud
say Correct your spelling
would
workers
from rural went to cities
just for vanity. I donot
totally agree with itCorrect your spelling
do not
don't
,
because the most reason for Remove the comma
apply
momvement
is living.So, I think the most possibility of their movement is for opportunity.
among the Correct your spelling
movement
opportunities
, the most important one is making money
. We all know the development of rural areas
are
low Change the verb form
is
leverl
, at least for Correct your spelling
level
cities
. Take Guangdong province for example
. Shenzhen
have
plenty of floating personnel and immigration. Is it because Change the verb form
has
Shenzhen
is good for long-time resident
? Obviously not. Fix the agreement mistake
residents
According to
various surveys, they move
to Shenzhen
for more jobs, making more money
. The reson
why they choose Correct your spelling
reason
Shenzhen
is that It develop
really Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
quick
, and Change the word
quickly
have
more occupations Correct subject-verb agreement
has
readed
there. It Correct your spelling
read
need
more people to match its rapid development. So they choose to Change the verb form
needs
move
.
Another opportunity is striving for a better living environment. A big city is more qualify
, it Wrong verb form
qualified
have
advanced education, medical and public facilities. Compared with the rural Change the verb form
has
areas
, cities
are more convinient
for a Correct your spelling
convenient
qaulified
living. Correct your spelling
qualified
For instance
, when someone is sick, they can get medical treatment quickly by transportation, and rapid recovery with advanced medical technology. But if they are in the rural areas
, the easy one
in Correct pronoun usage
ones
cities
will become more difficulty
. It Replace the word
difficult
reflect
in time costs, Change the verb form
reflects
money
costs. There is no mature medical system like an assembly line in rural areas
. So is education. So they choose to move
.
Why I donot
think the vanity of Correct your spelling
do not
workers
drive
them to Change the verb form
drives
move
to cities
is that,
they cannot afford to step out Remove the comma
apply
ot
their comfort zone just for the sake of vanity. If they can Correct your spelling
of
afford
, that Correct pronoun usage
afford it
just
a few people. In most cases, the decimal case Add a missing verb
is just
dosenot
Correct your spelling
does not
doesn't
hold
up.
Change the verb form
holds
Above all
, there is an increasing movement of workers
from rural areas
into the cities
because of more opportunities
in cities
. The opportunities
can be making money
and better living. Also
, vanities cannot be a
appropriate reason Change the article
an
fro
explain Correct your spelling
for
this
phenomenon.Submitted by asllchkied on
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advice
Ensure clarity in your arguments by rephrasing sentences that might be confusing. For example, 'From my viewpoints, cities now have more opportunities for workers from rural...' can be rephrased for clarity.
advice
To improve coherence and cohesion, use more linking words and transitional phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.
highlight
You have provided relevant specific examples, such as the example of Guangdong province and Shenzhen, which strengthen your argument about economic opportunities in cities.
highlight
You have included an introduction and a conclusion that summarize your main points, contributing to a well-organized essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.