Nowadays, people believe that governments should invest tax-payer's money in healthcare, other believe that money should be used in other areas. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion .

#people #governments #tax-payer #money #healthcare #areas #points

In the current world , individuals think that authorities should invest

tax-payer's

Change noun form

tax-payer

show examples

income to develop and fix the

healthcare

sector ,

while

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

disagree and suggest the utilization of

this

money in other areas . I personally believe that

healthcare

enhancement is indispensable . So, huge investments should be established in order to provide the optimum prevention and treatment to the community . On one hand , those who are against the

government

Change noun form

government's

show examples

full funding for

healthcare

instituation

Correct your spelling

institution

institutions

tackled other crucial concerns

such

as climate change , transport and education . They suggested equal funding to each sector , and they claimed that because they are the ones who pay the taxes ; they have the right to decide how to divide them . Some added that people should pay for their

healthcare

services and insurance companies can cover a wide range of the treatments offered .

Conversely

, some

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that

healthcare

is the most important

fundemental

Correct your spelling

fundamental

service to be provided and should be totally free.

Therefore

, all

tax-payers

Correct your spelling

taxpayers

show examples

money should be managed to cover the fees . They suggested that government must invest

this

money in building new

healthcare

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

, public health and awareness

instituations

Correct your spelling

institutions

. I think that if

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

remained

Wrong verb form

remains

show examples

healthy and

disease

Correct your spelling

disease-free

show examples

free

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

there will

Add a missing verb

be a

show examples

better chance to improve other sectors that need financial support

as well as

human labor .

To sum up

, a healthy society member can participate more

effeciently

Correct your spelling

efficiently

emeliorate

Correct your spelling

ameliorate

meliorate

his country ,

thus

; taking good care of the individual

weel-being

Correct your spelling

well-being

show examples

will definitely enhance the whole area .

Submitted by hindgadeem123 on Thu Sep 19 2024

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task achievement

You have clearly addressed both points of view and provided your opinion clearly. However, it would be beneficial to develop your ideas further with more specific examples to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing detract from the overall clarity of your essay. Paying attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure can improve the readability of your writing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the overall flow and cohesion of the essay. This can also help in better connecting your main points with supporting details.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-constructed and provide a clear framework for the essay.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view of both perspectives, which is essential for a discussive essay.

coherence cohesion

You have a good structure in your essay, making it easy to follow your line of argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Tax-payer’s money
Healthcare
Long-term costs
Productive workforce
Sick days
Equal access
Essential services
Sectors
Education
Infrastructure
Defense
Development
Security
Knowledgeable population
Innovation
Economic growth
Quality of life
Funding allocation
Comprehensive development

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Nowadays, people believe that governments should invest tax-payer's money in healthcare, other believe that money should be used in other areas. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion .

Fully explain your ideas

film reviews wanted Have you seen a really exciting film recently, at the cinema or on TV? write a review describing it and saying why you would recommend it to other people of your age

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partners discuss and give your own opinion.