IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Human activities have negative effect on plant and animal species. some people think it is too late to do anything about this problem. Other believe that effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The complication of animal habitat and environmental degradation is increasing and the main culprit behind
this
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 situation is unethical practices performed by the population, many believe that these calamities are unable to fix
while
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 others reject
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 notion and suggest that cooperation between the communities can repair
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 dilemma.
This
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 essay will elaborate on both perspectives and
thus
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 will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
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, the first and foremost reason behind
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 situation and why some crowd arguing that it is impossible to solve
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 obstacle because degrading nature and misunderstanding the needs of animals have become more habitual practices among the populations. crowd often enhance personal benefits and perform unethical activities
such
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 as
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 deforestation, littering public places and destroying other species' habitats to build residential areas.
For example
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, community waste management is an extremely challenging task in India, the recent government imposed strict regulations and established multiple campaigns to aware masses.
As a result
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, after multiple efforts and resources authorities failed to encourage the masses. Steps to deal with problems are many but the most significant ones are not complicated but accessible and practical. collaborative exercises between the communities and authorities can effectively reduce
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 problem and establish a better environment for animals and humans. Schools and municipal departments educate people about the benefits of a clean environment by considering societies and public park cleaning programs.
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, introducing a campaign about wild-life awareness and facilitating alternative and eco-friendly choices for commute systems improves air quality and soil fertility.
Hence
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, it is apparent changes are possible by attempting collaborative strength among people and government. To recapitulate
according to
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 arguments and aforementioned, one reaches the conclusion that humans' one-sided mindset about environmental issues and animal abuse can be effectively addressed by considering the above-stated measures
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 educating masses about environmental benefits, eco-friendly commute systems and stabilizing community cleaning and wildlife awareness programs.

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task achievement
Strengthen your introduction by clearly stating your opinion and briefly summarizing the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer structure in each paragraph, ensuring that each one starts with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the main argument of the essay.
task achievement
Encourage further development of ideas by exploring consequences or solutions in more detail, providing deeper analysis and insight into the topic.
content
You introduced both perspectives on the issue effectively, allowing for a balanced discussion.
content
Your conclusion effectively summarized your points and reinforced your opinion on the matter.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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