Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

#people #choices

some

people

claim that in today's world, individuals have so many

choices

to select between them. I completely agree with

this

notion for several reasons which will be discussed in

this

essay. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

recent decades, with the numerous developments in

thechnology

Correct your spelling

technology

and widespread use of

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

people

are more likely to be exposed to different opportunities.

For example

, in the past, students had to

persue

Correct your spelling

pursue

their higher education

Change preposition

show examples

nearby universities in their own town.

In contrast

people

now can gain information from any university all around the world by easily searching the web.

Thus

, nowadays we have more possibilities to consider in our decisions.

Furthermore

, liberty is one of the most important

concept

Change to a plural noun

concepts

show examples

today

Change noun form

today's

show examples

societies. Previously,

people

specially

Replace the word

especially

show examples

ordinary citizens, did not have the freedom we have now to chase what they desire. As we

obtained

Wrong verb form

obtain

show examples

more freedom, the

choices

we can make are now more extended.

For instance

Correct article usage

the femenism

show examples

femenism

Correct your spelling

feminism

feminist

movement that has

introduced

Add a missing verb

been introduced

show examples

in the past decades

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

created a more liberal

atmospher

Correct your spelling

atmosphere

for women to

fullfill

Correct your spelling

fulfil

their wishes.

Finally

, individuals do not restrict themselves nowadays. They tend to consider every possible way they have.

Therefore

, they don't omit

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

possible ways which can end them up with so many

choices

However

, having so many

choices

can lead to difficult dilemmas,

people

prefer to be stuck in these kinds of

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

because it gives

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

a sense of control over their lives. In conclusion, It is true that we have so many options to

select

Verb problem

choose

show examples

between

Change preposition

from

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, as we have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

full-time access to

Add an article

the internet

show examples

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

Moreover

, we make our decisions freely, compared to the past, and

Change preposition

show examples

the end,

restriction

Add an article

the restriction

a restriction

show examples

is not acceptable

Change preposition

show examples

people

so they let themselves

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

consider all the

choices

they have.

Submitted by ava.saljoughi on Thu Sep 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-organized, but you can further improve the logical flow between paragraphs. Trying to use more transitional phrases and linking words can help achieve this.

task achievement

You have addressed the task effectively and covered most aspects of the prompt. However, you can enhance your response by providing more detailed and specific examples that are directly relevant to your main points.

task achievement

Ensure that you manage your syntax and grammar to avoid minor mistakes such as ‘thechnology’ instead of ‘technology’. Careful proofreading can help you catch these errors.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly states your standpoint, and your conclusion effectively sums up the main points of your essay. This creates a strong impression.

task achievement

You have presented clear and comprehensive ideas, with relevant points that relate well to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

overwhelmed
decision fatigue
paralysis by analysis
consumerism
globalization
personal autonomy
market saturation
option overload
decision-making process
psychological well-being
buyer's remorse
customization
trade-offs
minimalism
information superhighway

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Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think that this is an appropriate use of government money?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reason? Do the advantages outweigh the disavantages

Despite better access to education, many adults today still cannot read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university eduation benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?