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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph shows the average Japanese month salary (Yen) from 1953 to 1983, and the prices of black and white televisions and color televisions during the same period.

The graph shows the average Japanese month salary (Yen) from 1953 to 1983, and the prices of black and white televisions and color televisions during the same period.
#japanese #month #salary #yen #prices #televisions #color #period
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The graph illustrates the comparison of
television
 prices
in particular
 versions, black white and
colors
Fix the agreement mistake
color
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 televisions, and the monthly salary of Japanese which is represented in
Yen
 between 1953 to 1983.
Overall
, it is evident that the average salary had an upward trend,
whereas
 the
television
 prices for both
color
Change the spelling
colour
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 versions showed
a downward shifts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a downward shift
downward shifts
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 during
this
 period. In 1953, the average income of Japanese people was just below 40
Yen
.
However
, it exhibited a gradual increase to around 60
Yen
 by 1963. It
then
 continued to grow significantly to about 100
Yen
 by 1968 before reaching its peak
to
Change preposition
of
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 around 180
Yen
 by the end of the period.
In contrast
, in 1953, the price of
colored
Change the spelling
coloured
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television
 stood at 100
Yen
 before gradually falling to nearly 40
Yen
 by 1968.
This
 figure experienced a slight decrease to just below 40
Yen
 by 1973.
On the other hand
, the black and white
television
 was not available until 1958 and it had a high price, amounting to 180
Yen
, in the first year it appeared. The figure remarkably dropped to almost 100
Yen
 by 1963, and it steadily decreased to around 80
Yen
 by 1973.
Submitted by chocolate10 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words television, yen with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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