Some people think city planners should create more green spaces and plant trees. Others believe that they should focus on building new homes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, there are
being
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apply
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arguments about
should
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whether should
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they construct that kind of
spaces
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space
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and sow trees or
instead
of it, other people state that should they address
to
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apply
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the
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apply
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building new houses. That's a big debatable topic for all of us and of
course
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course,
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ee
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we
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need to find
solution
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a solution
the solution
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on
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to
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it. In my mind, there are pros and cons
about
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to
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these disagreements. And I think
this
is more
depend
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on
is
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that town or city. Because we can create several open areas in the towns and may build lots of places for human needs rather than big cities . When it comes to the cities, people need to plant more plants than
to
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in
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buildings
due to
there are
majority
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the majority
a majority
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of them anyway.
Also
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Also,
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trees will be immensely effective since their fresh air and health. In conclusion, I mention that as I
told
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said
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above, we must try to extend places with trees as much as possible for later population don't face the problems with the light of air pollution.
This
is up to the buildings as factories.
This
will give
more
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a more
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convinient
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convenient
and relaxing environment.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views of the topic, which is good. However, to achieve a higher score, you need to provide more specific examples to support your points. Concrete examples can help illustrate your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
You've made a commendable effort in structuring your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, try to ensure that your paragraphs are more logically structured. For example, clearly state and expand on the main point of each paragraph and use linking words to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your main points need to be more distinctly supported with well-developed arguments. This will help improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. For example, if you state that green spaces are important, explain why they are beneficial in detail.
task achievement
The essay's overall message is somewhat clear but can be enhanced by improving language accuracy and using more varied vocabulary. Consider rephrasing some of the sentences for better clarity and avoiding repetitive words or phrases.
task achievement
You successfully covered both perspectives of the debate, which is essential for this type of essay.
coherence cohesion
The structure of having an introduction, body, and conclusion is present, which is a crucial aspect of writing an organized essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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