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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the average hours spent per day in leisure and sports activities by youngest and oldest populations in the US in 2015.

The chart below shows the average hours spent per day in leisure and sports activities by youngest and oldest populations in the US in 2015.
#hours #leisure #sports #activities #populations
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The chart compares the average
time
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 spent by the elderly and young generations in their spare
time
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 and physical
activities
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 daily in the US in 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that both generations spend most of their
time
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 watching television.
While
Linking Words
 relaxing and thinking are the least
activities
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 done by the younger
generation
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, the oldest
generation
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tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
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 to be less interested in sports
activities
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. The young people, 15-19 age group, spend nearly 2.5 hours in a
day
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to
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apply
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watching television.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, they spent around one hour per
day
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 playing games.
Then
Linking Words
, they are likely to communicate approximately for 45
minutes
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 and do some exercises for around half
hour
Correct article usage
an hour
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in
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apply
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a
day
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they only read for about 10
minutes
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 and do relaxing
activities
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 for around 5
minutes
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 daily.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the older
generation
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, 75 years and older group, watch television nearly 4.5 hours per
day
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.
Then
Linking Words
, they spend
to read
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reading
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 for about one hour and
sosialize
Correct your spelling
socialize
 for around 40
minutes
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in
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apply
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a
day
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.
This
Linking Words
generation
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 has a similar average
time
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 for relaxing and playing games, amounting to approximately thirty
minutes
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 daily. As they age, they do
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
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 physical
activities
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,
such
Linking Words
 as sports, spending only 10
minutes
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 in a
day
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.
Submitted by chocolate10 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, activities, generation, day, minutes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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