IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

A friend you made while you were studying abroad has written to ask you for help in finding a job in your country. Yoh have heard about a job in a local company that might be suitable for him/her. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter, tell your friend about the job and what sort of work it involves, say why you think the job would be suitable for him/her, explain how to apply for the job

#friend #job #country #yoh #company #sort #work
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear John, I hope you are doing well. I'm very excited to tell you about the
job
 posting in my country. The company is looking for a full-time front desk officer matching perfectly with your diploma;
this
job
 is in high demand in my country. You can visit their website to check the
job
 responsibilities as they mainly require a 2-year diploma in
this
 field.
This
 position will evolve to assist visitors with accommodation services and help them with bookings of hotels. I think
this
 opportunity will prove great to you as
this
 is your dream
job
 and you have some sort of skills and certifications already to excel
such
 as effective communication and customer satisfaction skills. To build up your career in
this
 field,
this
 will be a great point to start. To apply
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 posting you can simply visit LinkedIn or Indeed and upload a resume. The employer
responsing
Correct your spelling
responding
 very quickly to the application, you might get a call within an hour or two after the submission of your application. I really hope that you get
this
job
 so that we can explore the country together. See you soon. Warm Regards, Rav
Submitted by rk366704 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your letter is very clear and well-structured. It could be improved by providing a bit more detail about the job responsibilities and how they align with your friend's skills.
coherence and cohesion
You have a good logical flow in your paragraphs. To enhance coherence, consider using more linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are warm and personal, which is excellent for an informal letter to a friend.
logical structure
You've done a great job in maintaining a clear and logical structure throughout your letter.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph introduces a single, clear idea, which makes your letter easy to read and understand.
suitable writing tone
The tone of the letter is very friendly and suitable for writing to a friend about a job opportunity.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: