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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.
The bar chart illustrates how usually
people
Use synonyms
 ate junk
food
Use synonyms
 in the United States in the range
years
Use synonyms
 2003 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, citizens of the USA in 2003 ate often more fast
food
Use synonyms
 than others in two
years
Use synonyms
 with
average
Correct article usage
an average
show examples
 percentage of 27.
While
Linking Words
 the percentage of residents in 2006 lead in 3
years
Use synonyms
. In all three
years
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 did not prefer to eat fast
food
Use synonyms
 every day. More precisely under 5%.
However
Linking Words
, approximately
one
Use synonyms
-third of
people
Use synonyms
 in three
years
Use synonyms
 were interested in eating unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 at least
one
Use synonyms
 time in
one
Use synonyms
 week. With the same situation, residents ate junk
food
Use synonyms
one
Use synonyms
 or two times in
one
Use synonyms
 month.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 in 2006
this
Linking Words
 situation was the lowest, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 was
one
Use synonyms
-fourth. The
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of citizens, who ate
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 a few times in
one
Use synonyms
 year was below or exactly 15% in 2003 and 2006,2013 respectively. The lowest percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who did not
ate
Change the verb form
eat
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 was the same as
people
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 ate unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 every single day.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, food, years, one with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fast food consumption
  • Frequency
  • Dining trends
  • Demographic factors
  • Peak periods
  • Downward/upward trend
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Economic impact
  • Health implications
  • Convenience foods
  • Eating habits
  • Statistical evidence
  • Year-over-year comparison
  • Fluctuation
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