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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph shows the average Japanese month salary (Yen) from 1953 to 1983, and the prices of black and white televisions and color televisions during the same period.

The graph shows the average Japanese month salary (Yen) from 1953 to 1983, and the prices of black and white televisions and color televisions during the same period.
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The chart gives information on the average Japanese monthly income for individuals (
Yen
Use synonyms
) from 1953 to 1983 and the prices of black and white televisions and the colour during the time. 
Overall
Linking Words
, it seems that the monthly salary is increasing at a high rate eventually, and coloured
TV
Use synonyms
 has gone down, and the same with Black and white
TV
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
 in a different number.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, a monthly salary in 1953 was almost between 20
yen
Use synonyms
 and 40
yen
Use synonyms
, and after that, it increased to exactly 40
yen
Use synonyms
 in 1958, and it showed more growth in the rate in 1963, reaching 60
yen
Use synonyms
 and eventually ending with 180
yen
Use synonyms
 in 1973.
However
Linking Words
, the coloured
TV
Use synonyms
 was the opposite, starting in 1958 at 180
yen
Use synonyms
 and decreasing after that, reaching 110
yen
Use synonyms
 in 1963 and, after five years, becoming 100
yen
Use synonyms
 and in 1973, it was 90
yen
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, The black and white
TV
Use synonyms
 in 1953 was 100
yen
Use synonyms
 and went down to 80 in 1958
however
Linking Words
, in 1963, it reached the same number as the monthly salary, which was 60
yen
Use synonyms
, from 1968 until 1973, decreasing to 40
yen
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words yen, tv with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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