Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

It is widely debated how
success
is clearly defined whether by earning a lot of
money
or by the
persons
Change to a genitive case
person's
persons'
show examples
happiness
. I will discuss both the views and will give my opinion on the same.
To begin
with, in the contemporary era, people are acquiring knowledge,
learning
Correct word choice
and learning
show examples
new skillsets, to get a lucrative job for themselves.
Due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalisation
Add a comma
globalisation,
show examples
they are fascinated by the concept of
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
fashion trends and
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
wants
Add the particle
wants to
show examples
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
show examples
those in their
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. They suppose attaining all the luxurious items and living
a like
Correct your spelling
alike
show examples
like
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
a king size is a true meaning of
success
. Everyone is being judged by their lifestyle, spending habits and bank balance. In developed countries, individuals are working around the clock to earn and spend on branded items to satisfy the definition of
success
. Explaining
further
, another school of thought belongs to people living in developing countries.
Although
the world is progressing,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
families in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural cities, measure
the
Change the word
their
show examples
success
if the whole family is living under one roof and supporting each other. They are highly satisfied with their
low wage
Add a hyphen
low-wage
show examples
incomes as long as they have set routines and
fix
Wrong verb form
fixed
show examples
times to sit
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
down with
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
to have a meal together. Inner satisfaction and
happiness
defines
Change the verb form
define
show examples
success
for them. In my opinion,
success
is having enough
money
to sustain a peaceful life and satisfying our inner soul by being with our friends and family. We should maintain a balance between both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
factors to lead a happy life.
To conclude
,
definition
Add an article
the definition
show examples
of
success
varies from person to person. On the one hand, people
defines
Change the verb form
define
show examples
success
as making
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of
money
,
while
on the flip side, personal
happiness
is defined as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success
. I believe
success
is the median of both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
factors having sufficient
money
to survive and
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
of satisfaction is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pure
happiness
which multiplies the meaning of
success
.
Submitted by jyotikhera2712 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

vocabulary
Try to use varied vocabulary and sentence structures to make your essay more engaging.
paragraph structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and is well-developed, providing more detailed examples or explanations as needed.
grammar
Correct minor grammatical errors and improve sentence fluency for a more polished essay.
task accomplishment
The essay addresses both views on the topic and provides a clear opinion.
organization
The structure of the essay includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
balance
The essay makes an effort to explain different perspectives on success, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial success
  • Personal happiness
  • Intrinsic measure
  • Contentment
  • Fulfillment
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Harmonious life
  • Career achievements
  • Social recognition
  • Subjective nature
What to do next:
Look at other essays: