In the future , more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not to travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree ?

It has been observed that every person needs a break from his daily routine.
However
, many envisage that they will spend their vacation in their home country rather than visiting a foreign country in the upcoming period. I firmly disagree with
this
proposition, and my contentions will be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs. The foremost argument to justify
this
stance is strong connectivity among people across the globe. Currently, people share every second moment of their life on social media from the birth of a baby to the death of a person. They share the incredible tourist spots of their native cities and make them popular among their followers. A pertinent instance of
this
would be when one of my friends residing in Sydney, posted an image of the island which was surrounded by gorgeous flowers caught my attention and I felt that I must
also
visit
this
place. These social media posts are eye-catching and develop interest among the viewers to go and visit these places.
Furthermore
,
the
Remove the article
apply
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another moot reason to prove my point is faster means of communication and cheaper travel packages. In
this
modern world of technology, it is convenient to reach far destinations in small durations of time. A substantial example of
this
could be, the availability of tourist packages on travel websites. They offer cheaper tickets and guided tours of the selected place accompanied by the traditional cuisines of the native city. Suffice it to say, that people are more attracted to foreign countries. To recapitulate, I reiterate that there are innumerable strong factors supplying individuals would go to several countries to enjoy their break time because of the aerial pictures of the tourist spots and the tourism sector companies which make in turn make their travel easier.
Submitted by 1313ramandeepsingh on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the given prompt and provides a clear stance. However, while your ideas are generally clear, some arguments could benefit from further elaboration and clearer links between points. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to enhance the essay's overall flow.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured, there are occasional awkward phrasing and minor grammatical errors that can affect readability. Consider revising sentences for clarity and coherence. For instance, 'the another moot reason' should be rewritten as 'another important reason.' Additionally, ensure consistent use of articles ('the') where needed.
task achievement
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
task achievement
You included relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
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