some people think that competition at work, at school and in in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Some people think that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Others believe that
competition
at
work
, at
school
and
daily
Change preposition
in daily
show examples
life
Add the comma(s)
life,
show examples
is a good thing. In my view,
trying
Add the particle
trying to
show examples
cooperate more can enable
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good
relationship
,
while
competiting
Correct your spelling
competing
may trigger the maximum of a person’s capability. On the one hand, some people believe that cooperating more at
school
, at
work
, and in daily
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
can potentially lead to a good
relationship
.
This
relationship
may be beneficial to expand the network and have many friends. Networking is important since recently, getting
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
difficult without friends or seniors who know our
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
and
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
.
However
, I think networking may not
work
if we do not have special expertise.
For example
, The Indonesia University Alumni Group,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
has a good job vacancy channel, offers a risk evaluator that needs a risk expert certification.
This
is originally a good opportunity, but it is limited only
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
someone who is
expert
Correct article usage
an expert
show examples
in that certain field.
On the other hand
, others think that
competition
at
work
, at
school
and
daily
Change preposition
in daily
show examples
life
Add the comma(s)
life,
show examples
is a good thing because can probably trigger the maximum potential ability of someone.
Competition
should not be perceived as a negative thing since a positive
competition
often
remains
Verb problem
apply
show examples
exist
Correct subject-verb agreement
exists
show examples
.
For example
, Clash of Champions, a reality show by The Ruang Guru Channel, exhibits an outstanding
competition
in
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
field between brilliant university students from some reputable universities.
This
event triggers the pupils to explore their amazing
capability
Fix the agreement mistake
capabilities
show examples
,
such
as memorizing a bunch of information and computing a difficult math question.
As a result
, the students get
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enormous exposure from their brilliant ability, and they may take some benefits,
such
as special recruitments from some reputable companies and special offerings as brand ambassadors of the education platform. In conclusion,
while
trying
Add the particle
trying to
show examples
cooperate more can enable
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
,
competiting
Correct your spelling
competing
at
work
, at
school
and
daily
Change preposition
in daily
show examples
life may trigger the maximum of
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
show examples
capability. In my view, the latter viewpoint comes with more benefits.
Submitted by adittyafatma on

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task achievement
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
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Your opinion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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