some people think that competition at work, at school and in in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Some people think that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Others believe that
competition
at work
, at school
and daily
Change preposition
in daily
life
is a good thing. In my view, Add the comma(s)
life,
trying
cooperate more can enable Add the particle
trying to
the
good Correct article usage
a
relationship
, while
competiting
may trigger the maximum of a person’s capability.
On the one hand, some people believe that cooperating more at Correct your spelling
competing
school
, at work
, and in daily live
can potentially lead to a good Replace the word
life
relationship
. This
relationship
may be beneficial to expand the network and have many friends. Networking is important since recently, getting job
Add an article
a job
the job
is
difficult without friends or seniors who know our Wrong verb form
has been
ability
and Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
personality
. Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
However
, I think networking may not work
if we do not have special expertise. For example
, The Indonesia University Alumni Group, that
has a good job vacancy channel, offers a risk evaluator that needs a risk expert certification. Correct pronoun usage
which
This
is originally a good opportunity, but it is limited only for
someone who is Change preposition
to
expert
in that certain field.
Correct article usage
an expert
On the other hand
, others think that competition
at work
, at school
and daily
Change preposition
in daily
life
is a good thing because can probably trigger the maximum potential ability of someone. Add the comma(s)
life,
Competition
should not be perceived as a negative thing since a positive competition
often remains
Verb problem
apply
exist
. Correct subject-verb agreement
exists
For example
, Clash of Champions, a reality show by The Ruang Guru Channel, exhibits an outstanding competition
in education
field between brilliant university students from some reputable universities. Correct article usage
the education
This
event triggers the pupils to explore their amazing capability
, Fix the agreement mistake
capabilities
such
as memorizing a bunch of information and computing a difficult math question. As a result
, the students get an
enormous exposure from their brilliant ability, and they may take some benefits, Correct article usage
apply
such
as special recruitments from some reputable companies and special offerings as brand ambassadors of the education platform.
In conclusion, while
trying
cooperate more can enable Add the particle
trying to
the
good Correct article usage
apply
relationship
, Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
competiting
at Correct your spelling
competing
work
, at school
and daily
life may trigger the maximum of Change preposition
in daily
person’s
capability. In my view, the latter viewpoint comes with more benefits.Correct article usage
a person’s
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coherence cohesion
To improve your logical structure, work on the smoothness of transitions between different points. Use clear and consistent organization throughout the essay to make it easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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task achievement
Ensure clarity in expressing your ideas. Avoid ambiguous statements and focus more on presenting your arguments comprehensively.
task achievement
You provided a balanced overview of both sides of the argument, which helps demonstrate a complete response to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well defined, giving a clear framework to your essay.
task achievement
You included relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This strengthens your essay's credibility and authenticity.
Your opinion
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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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