IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Environmental issues have always been an international problem because governments are not imposing harsh punishments againts offenders To what extent do you agree or disagree? Support your answer with specific reasons and examples

#governments #punishments #againts #offenders #support
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There is no denying the fact that environmental problems are a bad thing for nature and the ecosystem. It is a commonly held belief that governments must do something to protect the environment from those who harm it. There is
also
 an argument that opposes it, in my opinion, considering that the local states must do something to stop
this
 issue from getting worse.
To begin
 with, there are several reasons why the government should punish the people who commit crimes against nature.
For example
, wood producers, and oil companies, both of them has a hand in climate change and the government must do whatever it takes to keep them under control.
Also
 when we talk about punishment, we don't talk about hitting them or harming them in one way or another. It means that the state must raise the taxes and put some restrictions on their source of income. Another point to consider is why the governments should focus on fixing the environmental issues before they get worse, and be aware of anyone who might think about damaging nature just
due to
 their own benefits.
For instance
, when international organizations like the United Nations give an order to put any man or women who cause extreme damage to the environment in jail, to make sure that everyone will think twice before doing
such
 a thing that In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that the local government and the international ones must continue their path of stopping
this
 genocide against the planet and humankind.
Submitted by sdam7843 on

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task response
Ensure you provide clear, concrete examples to support your points. For instance, specifying which countries or companies have faced government intervention would make your argument stronger.
task response
Aim to provide more balanced arguments by acknowledging counterarguments and addressing them. This will show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by using linking words and phrases such as 'Furthermore', 'However', 'In addition', etc.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and fully explores it before moving on to the next point.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task response
The author attempts to address the topic comprehensively and provides reasons for their opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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