In many places women are taking jobs which are traditionally done be men. What do you think made these changes happen? What's your opinion about it?

The shifting

roles

Use synonyms

women

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in the workforce, particularly in jobs traditionally held by

men

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, have become a significant topic of discussion.

While

Linking Words

some argue that these changes are driven by factors like social movements and education, others believe that various other factors contribute to

this

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shift. In my view, the movement of

women

Use synonyms

into traditionally male-dominated jobs is a positive

development

Use synonyms

that reflects broader societal progress.

To begin

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with, the rise in

women

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occupying

roles

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once reserved for

men

Use synonyms

can be attributed to various social and educational advancements. Social movements advocating for

gender

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equality have played a crucial role in challenging traditional

gender

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norms and empowering

women

Use synonyms

. Organizations and campaigns that focus on

women

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’s rights have helped increase awareness and support for

women

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’s participation in all spheres of life, including the workplace.

This

Linking Words

shift is

further

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supported by educational reforms that provide

women

Use synonyms

with the same opportunities for learning and professional

development

Use synonyms

as their male counterparts.

Moreover

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, the increasing levels of education among

women

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have significantly contributed to

this

Linking Words

change

Use synonyms

. In the past, educational opportunities for

women

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were limited, often confining them to domestic

roles

Use synonyms

However

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, today’s

women

Use synonyms

are equally educated as

men

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and have the skills and qualifications necessary to excel in various professional fields.

This

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advancement not only allows

women

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to contribute more effectively to their families' financial stability but

also

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enables them to pursue careers in areas traditionally dominated by

men

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For example

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women

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are now making substantial strides in fields

such

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as engineering, finance, and law, demonstrating their capability and competence in these

roles

Use synonyms

. From my perspective, the transition of

women

Use synonyms

into

roles

Use synonyms

traditionally held by

men

Use synonyms

is a crucial and positive

development

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

change

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not only fosters

gender

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equality but

also

Linking Words

enhances the

overall

Linking Words

economic and social fabric of society. When

women

Use synonyms

are empowered to take on diverse

roles

Use synonyms

, it promotes a more inclusive and balanced workforce.

Additionally

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, it helps break down outdated stereotypes and encourages both

men

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and

women

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to pursue careers based on interest and aptitude rather than

gender

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, the shift of

women

Use synonyms

into traditionally male-dominated jobs is a reflection of positive social

change

Use synonyms

driven by education and advocacy for

gender

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equality.

This

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development

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supports not only the personal growth of

women

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but

also

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contributes to a more equitable and productive society. Embracing

this

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change

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and continuing to support

women

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in all professional fields will ultimately benefit everyone by promoting a more diverse and capable workforce.

prabhjot06gill

Aug 23, 2024

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task achievement

Consider incorporating more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments. For example, mentioning specific social movements or educational programs that have significantly impacted gender norms can make your points more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While your essay is well-organized, enhancing the flow with transitional phrases can improve coherence. For example, use phrases like 'In addition to,' 'Furthermore,' or 'Another factor is' to maintain a seamless connection between ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

task achievement

You addressed the prompt thoroughly by discussing the factors behind the shift in women’s roles and offering your opinion on the matter, demonstrating a strong task achievement.

task achievement

Your points are well-supported and logically presented, contributing to the overall effectiveness of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your opinion, providing a satisfying end to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

406 words

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In many places women are taking jobs which are traditionally done be men. What do you think made these changes happen? What's your opinion about it?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You recently bought a toy from a company online. When the toy was delivered, you found some problems with it. Write a letter to the company manager. In your letter: -Describe the toy -Explain the problems with it -Tell the manager what you would like her/him to do

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Some people say that the characteristic we are born will have many much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in life. To what extent do you agree with this?

Completing a university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.