In many places women are taking jobs which are traditionally done be men. What do you think made these changes happen? What's your opinion about it?

#places #women #jobs #men #changes

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The shifting

roles

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women

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in the workforce, particularly in jobs traditionally held by

men

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, have become a significant topic of discussion.

While

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some argue that these changes are driven by factors like social movements and education, others believe that various other factors contribute to

this

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shift. In my view, the movement of

women

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into traditionally male-dominated jobs is a positive

development

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that reflects broader societal progress.

To begin

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with, the rise in

women

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occupying

roles

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once reserved for

men

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can be attributed to various social and educational advancements. Social movements advocating for

gender

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equality have played a crucial role in challenging traditional

gender

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norms and empowering

women

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. Organizations and campaigns that focus on

women

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’s rights have helped increase awareness and support for

women

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’s participation in all spheres of life, including the workplace.

This

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shift is

further

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supported by educational reforms that provide

women

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with the same opportunities for learning and professional

development

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as their male counterparts.

Moreover

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, the increasing levels of education among

women

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have significantly contributed to

this

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change

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. In the past, educational opportunities for

women

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were limited, often confining them to domestic

roles

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However

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, today’s

women

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are equally educated as

men

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and have the skills and qualifications necessary to excel in various professional fields.

This

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advancement not only allows

women

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to contribute more effectively to their families' financial stability but

also

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enables them to pursue careers in areas traditionally dominated by

men

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For example

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women

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are now making substantial strides in fields

such

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as engineering, finance, and law, demonstrating their capability and competence in these

roles

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. From my perspective, the transition of

women

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into

roles

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traditionally held by

men

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is a crucial and positive

development

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This

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change

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not only fosters

gender

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equality but

also

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enhances the

overall

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economic and social fabric of society. When

women

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are empowered to take on diverse

roles

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, it promotes a more inclusive and balanced workforce.

Additionally

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, it helps break down outdated stereotypes and encourages both

men

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and

women

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to pursue careers based on interest and aptitude rather than

gender

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. In conclusion, the shift of

women

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into traditionally male-dominated jobs is a reflection of positive social

change

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driven by education and advocacy for

gender

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equality.

This

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development

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supports not only the personal growth of

women

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but

also

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contributes to a more equitable and productive society. Embracing

this

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change

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and continuing to support

women

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in all professional fields will ultimately benefit everyone by promoting a more diverse and capable workforce.

Submitted by prabhjot06gill on Fri Aug 23 2024

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task achievement

Consider incorporating more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments. For example, mentioning specific social movements or educational programs that have significantly impacted gender norms can make your points more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While your essay is well-organized, enhancing the flow with transitional phrases can improve coherence. For example, use phrases like 'In addition to,' 'Furthermore,' or 'Another factor is' to maintain a seamless connection between ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

task achievement

You addressed the prompt thoroughly by discussing the factors behind the shift in women’s roles and offering your opinion on the matter, demonstrating a strong task achievement.

task achievement

Your points are well-supported and logically presented, contributing to the overall effectiveness of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your opinion, providing a satisfying end to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

406 words

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In many places women are taking jobs which are traditionally done be men. What do you think made these changes happen? What's your opinion about it?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient . Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful . What is your opinion ? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer .

These days internet-based courses have become a popular alternative to university-based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argue that it is important to study at university. Discuss both sides of the views and give your opinion.

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming more popular. Some feels this is a positive trend ,while others don't.what's your opinion?'

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as Important to a child’ development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?