t's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both ideas by giving your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The history
knows a lot of amazing extraordinary creators who were unbelievably talented. Correct article usage
History
On the other hand
there plenty
Add a missing verb
are plenty
people
who reach their fame with hard work and great mentoring. Change preposition
of people
This
topic are
discussed by many Change the verb form
is
people
In this
essay
I would like to write….
On the one hand, some children Add a comma
essay,
were
born with incredible abilities which allow them to reach great Wrong verb form
are
result
in different Fix the agreement mistake
results
arias
. They may learn difficult Correct your spelling
areas
piece
of music for a few hours or create an innovative and contemporary sculpture by themselves. Fix the agreement mistake
pieces
For example
, Van Gouh
learned how to paint And created amazing pieces of art which even nowadays are treasures of Correct your spelling
Gogh
art
world and cost millions of dollars.
Add an article
the art
On the other hand
, most of
Change preposition
apply
people
are born with basic talents but incredible ambitions. Thus
, there is no another
way for them to reach their goals and reach the top. Correct quantifier usage
other
Usually
these children tend to pull all-nighters, putAdd a comma
Usually,
a
lot of effort and work hard. Undoubtedly, Change preposition
in a
development
Correct article usage
the development
necessary
skills demands long hours and takes much time. Change preposition
of necessary
For instance
, one of the most popular actor
, Tom Holland, was studying drama from Fix the agreement mistake
actors
early
age and going to auditions from Add an article
an early
age
of 5. He Correct article usage
the age
reach
Change the verb form
reaches
his
fame only at 25 years old.
I find Correct pronoun usage
apply
fascinating
that thing when a person has a gift but, unfortunately, not many Correct pronoun usage
it fascinating
people
owe natural talent. Even so, if a child has a desire to be known for something he or she can become world-known through hard work.
To sum up
, … However
Add a comma
However,
people
without natural talent should have will
and determination to get Correct article usage
the will
white
they want.Correct article usage
the white
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task achievement
Your essay has a clear structure, but to achieve a higher band you need to work on a more compelling introduction and a more complete conclusion. Start your essay more thoughtfully and wrap it up more conclusively.
task achievement
There are several grammatical and typographical errors that take away from the clarity of your arguments. Proofreading your essay can help you spot and correct them easily.
coherence cohesion
Try to provide a balanced view in your discussion. You discuss both sides, but adding a bit more depth to each argument can make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant and on-topic, but they would benefit from further development. Give more details and examples to make your points stronger.
coherence cohesion
Improve the linking of paragraphs and ideas. Use more linking words and phrases to show connections between your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is good for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples, which help to illustrate your points effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.