Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more people to encourage people to consume less sugar To extent more, do you agree or disagree with the statement.

#food #drink #products #level #sugar #health #people

According to

some, several nutriment items

such

as juice, chocolate etc things come up with excessive

Sugar

Hence

, it conveys inflated problems in the body, I firmly believe that making

sugar

expensive would be a mistake.

Sugar

is a daily used ingredient in every household, meanwhile,

sugar

also

works as a drug in a few cases.

To begin

with, commencing with the most prominent reason

sugar

is a basic need for every individual in a household.

In addition

, soaring prices regardless can impact countries' import and export duty taxes.

However

, to relieve from sky-high sugary products government can spread awareness,

for instance

, by campaigning on social media, billboard

furthermore

, targeting pupils by visiting Schools and giving a

sugar

relief speech on parade. Another reason why I oppose the given statement.

Sugar

also

used as a medicine in numerous hospitals.The overpriced can lead to expensive treatment which could be harmful for poor individuals to afford it.

Such

as, surgery releases dopamine which helps to maximize our Survival as a species and enhances our brain empowerment.

Therefore

, the State government should provide welfare benefits to below-standard people,

for

this

reason, they can

also

get valuable treatment without consequences. In brief,

Sugar

is a beneficial and necessary ingredient for every human being to service.

In contrast

, it could be harmful depending upon individual consumption. In order to be less addictive, the government should ban ads on TV when children are on there for a specific period of time,

this

will help children to be aware of sugary items.

Submitted by tushalk329 on Fri Sep 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic, but some points could be more clearly articulated. Ensure you clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the statement.

coherence cohesion

Improve your essay structure by clarifying your main points and organizing your ideas more logically. Use clear paragraphs for each main point and include linking phrases to guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

Work on providing more concrete and specific examples to support your points. This will help make your arguments more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen the introduction by providing a clearer thesis statement that outlines your position unambiguously.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position in a succinct manner. Ensure it is well-aligned with the content of your essay.

task achievement

Your essay includes relevant points about the importance of sugar in daily life and its use in medical treatments.

task achievement

You have suggested practical methods to raise awareness about the dangers of excessive sugar consumption, such as social media campaigns and school visits.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains an introduction and a conclusion. These sections are important for providing a structure to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

sugar consumption
health problems
manufactured food and drink products
encourage
expensive
reduce
effectively
discourage
tight budget
purchasing
disproportionately
lower-income individuals
healthier food choices
demand
regardless

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?
it has been argued that males and females have their own strengths and weaknesses, and it is necessary to help them choose the right professions based on their gender. I completely agree with that opinion, relying on examples and our ancestor's living conditions and history.
4.5
band
Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
There is an arguable discussion about the main subject at primary school, such as history or Science and Technology. This essay argue that science and technology should be the focus at academy; however, this essay will still cover both sides.
6.5
band
Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages. According to some academicians, it is better to introduce a foreign language in elementary school than in secondary school. I agree with this view.
According to some, learning a new language at primary school is beneficial for children compared to learning it later in secondary school. According to a recent survey, student's learning capabilities are potent when they are young, and as they age their skill reduces for multiple reasons. Hence, I believe younger ones exposed to new languages get better advantages compared to senior ones and I have the following comparisons to substantiate my claim.
6.5
band
Although some people believe that children should pursue employment, others think that students should study further education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
During the second wave of the coronavirus, I faced a significant personal and academic challenge when I and my entire family contracted the virus. While my parents battled severe symptoms like high recurring fevers, I was spared from the worst of the virus, experiencing only mild symptoms. So, I had to shoulder the responsibility of managing household duties while taking care of my parents. This disrupted my academic routine, causing me to miss many online classes and shifting my focus from my studies.
7
band
Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In today’s modern society, an increasing number of people are choosing to delay parenthood. From my perspective, this tendency arises from several factors, and while it offers some potential advantages, the disadvantages outweigh the benefits.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more people to encourage people to consume less sugar To extent more, do you agree or disagree with the statement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Although some people believe that children should pursue employment, others think that students should study further education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.