Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more people to encourage people to consume less sugar To extent more, do you agree or disagree with the statement.

#food #drink #products #level #sugar #health #people

According to

some, several nutriment items

such

as juice, chocolate etc things come up with excessive

Sugar

Hence

, it conveys inflated problems in the body, I firmly believe that making

sugar

expensive would be a mistake.

Sugar

is a daily used ingredient in every household, meanwhile,

sugar

also

works as a drug in a few cases.

To begin

with, commencing with the most prominent reason

sugar

is a basic need for every individual in a household.

In addition

, soaring prices regardless can impact countries' import and export duty taxes.

However

, to relieve from sky-high sugary products government can spread awareness,

for instance

, by campaigning on social media, billboard

furthermore

, targeting pupils by visiting Schools and giving a

sugar

relief speech on parade. Another reason why I oppose the given statement.

Sugar

also

used as a medicine in numerous hospitals.The overpriced can lead to expensive treatment which could be harmful for poor individuals to afford it.

Such

as, surgery releases dopamine which helps to maximize our Survival as a species and enhances our brain empowerment.

Therefore

, the State government should provide welfare benefits to below-standard people,

for

this

reason, they can

also

get valuable treatment without consequences. In brief,

Sugar

is a beneficial and necessary ingredient for every human being to service.

In contrast

, it could be harmful depending upon individual consumption. In order to be less addictive, the government should ban ads on TV when children are on there for a specific period of time,

this

will help children to be aware of sugary items.

Submitted by tushalk329 on Fri Sep 20 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic, but some points could be more clearly articulated. Ensure you clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the statement.

coherence cohesion

Improve your essay structure by clarifying your main points and organizing your ideas more logically. Use clear paragraphs for each main point and include linking phrases to guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

Work on providing more concrete and specific examples to support your points. This will help make your arguments more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen the introduction by providing a clearer thesis statement that outlines your position unambiguously.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position in a succinct manner. Ensure it is well-aligned with the content of your essay.

task achievement

Your essay includes relevant points about the importance of sugar in daily life and its use in medical treatments.

task achievement

You have suggested practical methods to raise awareness about the dangers of excessive sugar consumption, such as social media campaigns and school visits.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains an introduction and a conclusion. These sections are important for providing a structure to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sugar consumption
health problems
manufactured food and drink products
encourage
expensive
reduce
effectively
discourage
tight budget
purchasing
disproportionately
lower-income individuals
healthier food choices
demand
regardless

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more people to encourage people to consume less sugar To extent more, do you agree or disagree with the statement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many people nowadays live in societies where consumer goods are relatively cheap Do you thing the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The promoters of social media claim that they are connecting people and enabling people to share like never before. While critics claim that social media site often impinges upon one’s privacy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, the ratio of diseases triggered by manufactured foods has been increasing around the world. However, many people still prefer to eat them as the staple due to the inexpensive price. I strongly agree with the opinion that processed foods should be made more expensive than now.

In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment. Is it a positive or negative development?