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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the amount of financial aid that four nations received and how the money was spent in 1974 and 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The charts below show the amount of financial aid that four nations received and how the money was spent in 1974 and 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#show #amount #aid #four #nations #money #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart and table illustrate and compare the financial
aid
Use synonyms
 distributed for three different
field
Change to a plural noun
fields
show examples
 and allocated to four countries in 1974 and 40 years later. Catering had the largest difference between these 40 years. It took 70
million
Use synonyms
 in 1974, and only 16
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2014. Medicine
occupty
Correct your spelling
occupy
occupies
 the largest portion of investment in 1974, which cost 80
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 by 20 to 2014. In the aspect of finance, it took
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 of money as catering at the beginning,
whereas
Linking Words
 only
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 to 65
million
Use synonyms
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is the biggest part in 2014. In terms of the specific countries, South Africa always received the largest
aid
Use synonyms
, which
got
Verb problem
reached
show examples
 65
million
Use synonyms
 in 1974 and still received 42
million
Use synonyms
 after four decades. China got the second largest
amount
Use synonyms
 of financial
aid
Use synonyms
 at the start that obtained 62
million
Use synonyms
, but in 2014, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 only 6
million
Use synonyms
 allocated, which is the country
Correct pronoun usage
that reveived
show examples
reveived
Correct your spelling
received
 the smallest part of financial
aid
Use synonyms
. Indonesia and
Tailand
Correct your spelling
Thailand
 were in the middle position
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
reveived
Correct your spelling
received
 55
million
Use synonyms
 and 48
million
Use synonyms
 in 1974 and 30
million
Use synonyms
 and 18
million
Use synonyms
 in 2014
recepectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the highest financial
aid
Use synonyms
 cost was Medcine in 1974
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Finance in 2014. Catering had the biggest
defference
Correct your spelling
difference
 gap across the 40 years. South Africa always received the largest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
aid
Use synonyms
 ,
while
Linking Words
 China saw the sharpest drop in the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
aid
Use synonyms
 it has
reveived
Correct your spelling
received
.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words aid, million, amount with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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