Many people around the world use social media to keep in touch with other people and get the news. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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In the ancient days,
people
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used to send and receive messages by pigeon. Nowadays,
people
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are using digital
media
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to keep in touch with their near and dear. Many
people
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argue that keeping in touch with relatives has disadvantages,
while
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others believe that
media
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plays a vital role in bringing communities close and getting information immediately.
This
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essay will discuss why using social
media
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brings more benefits and advantages outweigh its disadvantages. I will give my personal example to clarify how it is useful. On the one hand, delivers messages immediately all over the world. The main benefit is social
media
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connects with their friends and relatives in seconds.
For example
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, many students are studying all over the world and they communicate with the help of Facebook and WhatsApp applications to get
news
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from them. So, it saves
time
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and money
instead
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visit them personally. Another reason is, that in emergencies,
people
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send messages and save themselves and other
people
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from upcoming disasters,
such
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as T-sunami and COVID-19, at that
time
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social
media
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helped
people
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to know about safety.
On the other hand
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, certainly, social
media
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brings many advantages, and there are some outcomes it brings. The primary factor is it creates unnecessary stress.
For instance
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, some
people
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are scared and depressed after they see the
news
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on the Internet, like, war
news
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, which is still going on between Russia and Ukraine,
as a result
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, some
people
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suffer from heart attacks. Another outcome is it wastes
time
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and money, many channels are paid and subscription needs to be bought.
In addition
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, many
people
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have become addicted to the
news
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. In my case, I still spend many hours a week watching social
media
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, even though I do not need
this
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news
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and sometimes it brings stress and violence to society. In conclusion, following the analysis of the advantages of
news
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and the disadvantages of how it affects our lives, it is clear, that excessive watching of the
news
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brings obesity and anxiety, which results in health issues and a waste of
time
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and money.
However
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, if watching is limited it brings productive information which increases our knowledge and the well-being of our families and friends.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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task achievement
Your response is quite comprehensive but could be more precise. For instance, avoid starting with 'In the ancient days...' which seems overly broad and less relevant to the specific task prompt.
task achievement
Try to make the essay more balanced by giving equal weight to both advantages and disadvantages. This will make your argument more persuasive and comprehensive.
task achievement
Use more specific and varied vocabulary to articulate your points clearly and avoid repetition.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and relevant response to the task, covering both advantages and disadvantages of social media usage.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, making your essay structured and easier to follow.
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