Today there is increasing concern over environmental problems. While some people believe taht they must be solved on a domestic level, others think that only through international cooperation can environment issues be dealt with.
Environmental issues
has
become widespread concern about its threat. Change the verb form
have
While
some people believe that this
problem ought to be tackled internationally working
, others argue that environmental degradation is the responsibility of the Verb problem
apply
country
itself. Both of the aforementioned perspective
will be Change to a plural noun
perspectives
disscussed
in the following paragraphs Correct your spelling
discussed
along side
with the reasons behind them.
On the one hand, some people believe that the best way to overcome environmental Correct your spelling
alongside
challeges
is a global contribution effort. The most common argument is that there Correct your spelling
challenges
is
huge problems which need to join hands from a wide range of Change the verb form
are
countries
such
as global warming, pollution
. Correct word choice
and pollution
Additionally
, regions can share knowledge, ideals, as well as
technology to face with
environmental challenges. For Change preposition
apply
examples
, Fix the agreement mistake
example
Mekong
delta river Correct article usage
the Mekong
flow
through a host of Change the verb form
flows
countries
from China, Myanmar, Laos and Vietnam. This
is a reason why individual nation
do not have Fix the agreement mistake
nations
ability
to solve river contamination.
On Change the article
the ability
other
Correct article usage
the other
one
hand, I believe that each Correct pronoun usage
apply
country
should deal with deterioration
of environmental quality by its capacity. Add an article
the deterioration
This
is due to
the argument that individual country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
experieces
different Correct your spelling
experiences
experience
circumtance
Correct your spelling
circumstances
circumstance
such
as polluted
Replace the word
pollution
level
, Fix the agreement mistake
levels
financial
situation. Economic prosperity in developed Correct word choice
and financial
countries
has allowed them to invest more budget for renewable energy
, nuclear
Correct word choice
and nuclear
energy
, but developing country
suffer from financial Fix the agreement mistake
countries
barrier
. Fix the agreement mistake
barriers
For instance
, Amercia
Correct your spelling
America
had
developed sustainable Unnecessary verb
apply
energy
source
and green technology 30 years ago Fix the agreement mistake
sources
as well as
moblelized
solar and wind Correct your spelling
mobilised
energy
for daily life. However
, Vietnam which is a Third World nation, is not affordable to investigate for this
. Fossil fuel in Vietnam still plays an intergal
role Correct your spelling
integral
to promote
Change preposition
in promoting
economy
.
In conclusion, despite the value of international Add an article
the economy
cooporation
, these benefits can deal with general problems and shared knowledge, Correct your spelling
cooperation
technology
for other Correct word choice
and technology
countries
. However
, in my view, government
in each Correct article usage
the government
country
should make policy
to protect Fix the agreement mistake
policies
environment
.Add an article
the environment
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coherence cohesion
Consider elaborating on the introduction and conclusion to give a more rounded structure to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to ensure a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point is thoroughly supported with well-developed arguments and clear examples.
task achievement
More attention to grammar and spelling will enhance readability and clarity of your points.
task achievement
The essay covers both viewpoints effectively and provides relevant examples to support each perspective.
task achievement
The argumentation is clear and each paragraph maintains focus on its respective point of view.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas and the arguments are reasonably well structured.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example