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Band 7.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #attention
In
this
 modernized world, business owners often advertise their products online or through other media. Some
people
 say that it is an extremely successful way to persuade them to buy things,
while
 others say it is so common that consumers rarely pay attention to it.
Hence
, in
this
 essay, I will discuss some arguments,
as well as
 my own opinions regarding the issue.
Firstly
, it is a common practice among
people
 to use advertising as a way to convince them to purchase goods.
This
 has proven to be successful at times, especially when they include special offers,
such
 as discounts and limited-time deals. Customers often opt to go to these stores that have some good deals, resulting in successful
advertisements
.
Moreover
, they are often persuaded by
advertisements
 which include famous influencers who endorse the products. Celebrities who have a large fanbase will automatically increase sales when given endorsements.
On the other hand
, it is common for
people
 to usually ignore
advertisements
 seen on billboards, or on television and other social media platforms as they may find it annoying or wasting time. Ads that they usually see on YouTube or Instagram are often neglected as it is seen as unnecessary content to watch. What is more is that it is
also
 usually seen as useless information, as most of the time, the promotions they give are not suitable to the customers, which results in low sales, and lesser income.
To conclude
,
while
 some
people
 do argue that
advertisements
 are usually unimportant and are seen as useless information, I firmly believe that it is a great way to promote a product with great content.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
The essay effectively presents both views and provides a clear opinion. However, incorporating a few more concrete examples and data to support your points can make the argument stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical structure, there could be slight improvements. For instance, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices like 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' and 'however' can elevate coherence.
coherence cohesion
Concluding sentence could be more impactful by summarizing the key points discussed in the essay, reinforcing the opinion presented.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets up the issue, and the conclusion succinctly states the opinion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views in the prompt, demonstrating an understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured paragraphs help in easy comprehension of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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