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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some companies sponsor sports as away to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. discuss boyh sides and give your opinion.

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In
this
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 day and era,
sports
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 have the most impact with several people deciding to use any products;
therefore
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, numerous
companies
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 want to make their brands widely known with the sponsor
sports
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 to advertise their brand.
Although
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, some individuals said it negative ascendent, I agree is beneficial for
companies
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.
To begin
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 with, as mentioned above that's
sports
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 influence societies nowadays .
Consequently
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, publishing in
this
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 way is quite a venture;
due to
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 the fact, that big fans of any sport are a group of people who cannot be pleased and will feel unfair if the product doesn't sponsor their support team.
Moreover
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, there will damage
companies
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 like negative current in the social networks which may affect circulation. Alternatively, when
companies
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 promote the campaign the collaboration with that sport and have limited edition items for the fan teams sometimes maybe not every fan has the purchasing power;
accordingly
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, it will drawbacks the result with the corporation as well.
On the other hand
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, is advantageous for an unpopular office
this
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 decision may be worth marketing if the band is confident in good qualities; in fact, the targeted marketing is for fans of
sports
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 and every fan always supports their favourite athletes and sponsors if the band can make a great quality it will have free advertising in the same time the cause of some supporters is an influencer in social media that will free promote for the band.
While
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 the corporation just pays and supports the
sports
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 team.
To sum up
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, it may have negative feedback
that is
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 hard to control from anti-fan;
nevertheless
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, the main target is not for the anti-group is for fans who want to support their team and expand their customer base.

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coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the clarity of your argument by organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that expresses the main point, and the following sentences should support it.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points. This will help strengthen your argument and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical and syntactical errors. While these do not significantly affect your band score, they can impact clarity.
task achievement
The essay shows a balanced discussion of both sides of the issue, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You provide a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sponsor
  • advertise
  • brand exposure
  • visibility
  • brand image
  • reputation
  • targeted marketing
  • product placement
  • endorsement
  • support
  • community
  • athletes
  • economic growth
  • oversaturation
  • commercialization
  • unfair advantage
  • financially stronger
  • ethical concerns
  • influence
  • diversion of funds
  • negative publicity
  • backlash
  • beneficial
  • overall
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