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Writing Samples
Band 8

The graph below shows the changes in production (millions)of three products in a garment factory from 1990 to 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the changes in production (millions)of three products in a garment factory from 1990 to 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart depicts the shift in the
production
Use synonyms
 of several items
such
Linking Words
 as suits, dresses and coats in the apparel industry between 1990 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, in two decades suits had an inflated
production
Use synonyms
, during the same time dress manufacturing had a gradual push towards growth. Meanwhile, the graph illustrates the significant growth of the coat.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1990 coat
production
Use synonyms
 was shown at around seven
million
Use synonyms
 with the least making apparel,
however
Linking Words
 in 2005 it was noted with rapidly grown cloth with the increment of nearly 16
million
Use synonyms
,
moreover
Linking Words
 till 2010 it was soared by two
million
Use synonyms
 and stood with 25
million
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
 ageing the 1st position in clothing industry respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
, the suit had a jump of close to 9
million
Use synonyms
 productions from 1990 to 1995, suddenly after that, it fell sharply till 2005 with roughly 8
million
Use synonyms
 and
last
Linking Words
, in 2010 it stood by more or less than 19
million
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, dress manufacturing had a steady rise of almost 3
million
Use synonyms
 in the early half decade,
furthermore
Linking Words
 in 2000 it was noted with a slight decline an about 2
million
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, till 2010 dress
production
Use synonyms
 had a considerable push and went up by 4
million
Use synonyms
 (15
million
Use synonyms
).

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words production, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Production volume
  • Garment factory
  • Trend (increasing, decreasing)
  • Comparative analysis
  • Fluctuations
  • Market demand
  • Technological advancements
  • Production capacity
  • Raw material availability
  • Economic conditions
  • Notable observations
  • Significant shifts
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