Some people think that getting the degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into the work and get experience instead. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
It is argued that the best way to get a good
job
is by having a university
degree, while
others disagree and think that the most significant factor in securing good employment is having skills
and experience
. While
knowledge from university
jobs is needed, I believe that knowledge from school with skills
and experience
is more important.
On the one hand, many graduates admit that only a university
degree is required to have the best work. But, in the end, employers will know that some of them have fake diplomas, simply to be eager to get a good job
. For instance
, according to
the New York Times, in 2023 57% of students who finished university
with high degrees had fake diplomas.
On the other hand
, some people think that knowledge gained from school and skills
with experience
are the only qualities needed for working. Because they can prove to their managers and bosses that they can work for long hours. They are experienced, and therefore
, they do not need explanations. For example
, a friend of mine wanted to get a job
as an accountant. But, he was not really smart in math, like graduates from universities. However
, he was really keen on this
job
, so he researched this
employment most of his time. Then
, he learned skills
and gained experience
that are needed to be an accountant. So, finally
, he is not only an accountant, he is an office manager now.
In conclusion, although
some graduates have good jobs with fake diplomas, they will be revealed in the end. Therefore
, I agree that skills
and experience
are the things that are very important.Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on
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task achievement
Strengthen the examples provided. For instance, the example about fake diplomas could be tied back more clearly to its relevance in the discussion.
task achievement
Clarify your main points and ensure they are consistently supported throughout the essay. For instance, linking the importance of skills and experience in real-world job performance can make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve coherence by using transitional phrases such as 'furthermore,' 'moreover,' and 'in addition' to link your ideas more fluidly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in maintaining coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The introductory paragraph clearly presents the topic and the writer’s stance, which aligns with the requirements of a task response.
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