IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparions where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparions where relevant.
#shops #country #summarise #information #features #comparions
The graph illustrates
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
shops
 that have been shut down and started in a country over the period of seven
years
 from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
, it is obvious that starting new
shops
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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significantly declined
while
closure
Add an article
the closure
show examples
 of
stores
 slightly decreased with a sharp drop over the
years
.
According to
 the information given, approximately 6,500
shops
 were closed in 2011 and it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
roughly 7,100 after two
years
. In 2015,
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of closed
shops
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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sharply decreased by about 500
shops
.
However
, next year 5,100
stores
 were shut down which is ten times more compared to
previous
Add an article
the previous
show examples
 year.
Then
, it remained steady until 2018 when about 5,200 stopped to serve for customers.
By contrast
, around 8,500 new
shops
 were opened in
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2011 which was
peak
Add an article
the peak
a peak
show examples
 for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 seven
years
. After a year, amount of
new
Change the adjective
newly
show examples
 opened
stores
 went down significantly by only 4,000 new
shops
 were started.
Number
Change the article
A number
The number
show examples
 of
opening
Verb problem
apply
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new
stores
 saw its
secon
Correct your spelling
second
 peak in 2014 when 6,100
shops
 were opened and steadily declined until 2018
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
opening
Add an article
the opening
show examples
 of only 3,000 new
stores
.
Submitted by abdulboriysog17 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words shops, years, stores with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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