Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

Secondary school is a
one
Add a hyphen
one-time
show examples
time
moment in
people
's life, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
choose to do whatever they want. It could be
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
on
art
and
music
or studying
science
and social. Some
people
argue that all
students
must study
art
and
music
. But, I think they do not have to, as they have their own expertise
also
they do not have much
time
in
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
.
Students
have their own expertise, some of them prefer to study
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
science
rather than
art
and
music
. The
students
who like math or
science
often do not like to learn
art
and
music
.
This
is because the brain composition of each
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
is different. The
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
who prefer
science
have left brains are bigger than the right ones.
Therefore
, forcing them to study subjects that they do not like will add more stress to them.
For instance
, my friend who really
Correct subject-verb agreement
likes
show examples
like
Correct subject-verb agreement
likes
show examples
biology often
Correct subject-verb agreement
avoids
show examples
avoid
Correct subject-verb agreement
avoids
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
, as he is not confident about his skill
Change preposition
in
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
art
,
also
it can make him
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
his
time
Change the verb form
exploring
show examples
to explore
Wrong verb form
exploring
show examples
more
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
biology. Talking about
time
, learning
art
and
music
also
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
students
to
cost
Verb problem
spend
show examples
their
leissure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
. After taking classes, they need to rest their brain by playing a game or anything.
Moreover
, they
also
need to enjoy their
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
life with their friends, as it can keep their mental health.
Additionally
,
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
students
need to prepare
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
college selection
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
.
Therefore
, prioritizing
time
is a must.
For example
, the morning and afternoon
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
for school,
evening
Add an article
the evening
show examples
is for friends, and
night
Correct article usage
the night
show examples
is for hobbies. It can be
a
Remove the article
music
a piece of music
show examples
music
,
art
or even
game
Correct article usage
a game
show examples
.
Thus
, giving
freedoms
Fix the agreement mistake
freedom
show examples
to the
students
is the best way. In conclusion, it is no problem to make
students
choose their own
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
because each of them has their own expertise.
Moreover
, they do not have much
time
in
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
.
Therefore
, it is good for them
choosing
Wrong verb form
to choose
show examples
how they spend their
time
.
Submitted by ivannizar on

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grammatical accuracy
Try to proofread your essay to correct any small inaccuracies or grammatical mistakes. For example, 'studying science and social' can be improved to 'studying science and social studies.'
introduction conclusion
Enhance your introduction by clearly stating your stance and summarising the main arguments you will present. This will help in setting the stage for the reader.
evidence support
While your reasoning is clear, try to provide more concrete examples or evidence to support your points. This will make your argument more compelling.
logical structure
You have provided a clear structure, with separate paragraphs for each point.
introduction conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarises your main arguments, reinforcing your viewpoint.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster creativity
  • innovative thinking
  • emotional well-being
  • reduce stress
  • creative expression
  • cultural awareness
  • inclusive and diverse society
  • cognitive development
  • academic performance
  • spatial-temporal reasoning
  • language development
  • career opportunities
  • creative industries
  • contributors to the economy
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