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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others believe that they should start school at a later age. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #education #age #school
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In recent years, the debate surrounding the appropriate age for
children
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to begin
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 formal
education
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 has gained considerable attention.
While
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 some argue that starting
education
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 early is beneficial for cognitive and social development, others contend that a later start allows for a more balanced childhood.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own view. On one hand, proponents of early formal
education
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 argue that it can provide
children
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 with a strong academic foundation. Early exposure to structured learning environments can stimulate intellectual curiosity and promote essential skills
such
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 as literacy and numeracy.
Moreover
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, early
education
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 can foster social interactions, helping
children
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 develop vital interpersonal skills that will serve them well throughout their lives. Research has shown that
children
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 who attend preschool are often better prepared for the academic
rigors
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rigours
show examples
 of primary school, leading to improved educational outcomes.
Conversely
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, those in
favor
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favour
show examples
 of delaying formal
education
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 emphasize the importance of unstructured play during the early years. They argue that childhood should be a time for exploration and creativity rather than rigid academic structures. Early formal schooling can sometimes place undue pressure on young
children
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, leading to stress and burnout.
Instead
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, proponents of
this
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 view advocate for allowing
children
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 to learn through play, which can enhance their emotional and social development.
Furthermore
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, a later start can provide
children
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 with more time to discover their interests and talents, ultimately leading to a more well-rounded individual. In my opinion,
while
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 there are merits to both viewpoints, a balanced approach is ideal.
Children
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 should not be subjected to formal
education
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 too early;
however
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, introducing them to basic concepts through playful learning can be beneficial. A blended model that incorporates play with early learning experiences may offer the best of both worlds, equipping
children
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 with essential skills without compromising their childhood. In conclusion, the debate over the appropriate age for
children
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to begin
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 formal
education
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 is complex.
While
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 early
education
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 can provide significant advantages, it is equally important to consider the value of play and exploration. A combined approach that encourages learning through play
while
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 gradually introducing formal
education
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 may be the most beneficial for
children
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’s
overall
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 development.
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

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task response
To score higher on Task Response, consider including more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This can help demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
For a higher Coherence and Cohesion score, try to use more varied transition words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. This will make the essay more engaging and flow better.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a balanced and well-structured argument, addressing both perspectives effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are strong, clearly outlining the main points and summarizing the essay's stance.
task response
The ideas are clearly articulated and comprehensive, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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