IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to the Ashdown museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to the Ashdown museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #show #surveys #visit #two #periods #summaries #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The tables compare the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who were satisfied visiting the
Ashdown
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 during the year before and after it was refurbished.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a difference between the results of the surveys about the
Use synonyms
visitors
Change to a genitive case
visitor's
visitors'
show examples
 satisfaction when visiting the
Ashdown
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
. The majority of
people
Use synonyms
 who visited the
Ashdown
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 were dissatisfied with their experience. but, after the year of the refurbishment of
Ashdown
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
, most of them felt satisfied. Before the
Ashdown
Use synonyms
museum
Use synonyms
 was refurbished, 40% of the
visitors
Use synonyms
 claimed to feel dissatisfied with their visit.
In contrast
Linking Words
, 30% of them felt satisfied and there were 15% of
people
Use synonyms
 who felt very satisfied.
While
Linking Words
 10% of them were very dissatisfied, 5% of the
visitors
Use synonyms
 remained silent. After the refurbishment, the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who were satisfied increased to 40% and 35% of them really liked the experience. there were
visitors
Use synonyms
 who were still dissatisfied with the
museum
Use synonyms
, and both
people
Use synonyms
 who were very dissatisfied and had no response
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 at 5%.
Submitted by ethia.oktaviani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words people, ashdown, museum, visitors with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Refurbishment
  • Satisfaction level
  • Appeal
  • Offerings
  • Survey
  • Correlation
  • Proportion
  • Pre-refurbishment
  • Post-refurbishment
  • Visitor experience
  • Dissatisfied
  • Visitor engagement
  • Survey methodology
  • Overall trend
  • Impact
  • Attract
  • Please
  • Museums
  • Analysis
  • Shifts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: