ASK 2: Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?
Nowadays ,there
are
split Change the verb form
is
argument
aboutFix the agreement mistake
arguments
achieve
balance Change the verb form
achieving
at
Change preposition
in
work
environment and other responsibilities towards Correct article usage
the work
lives'
needs. Change noun form
life's
Nevertheless
few individuals had been Add a comma
Nevertheless,
goen
over it. Correct your spelling
gone
going
This
statment
has several causes Correct your spelling
statement
such
as full life stress in
both sides that are Change preposition
on
work
and home as well as
time
miss-control by using smart phone
during Correct your spelling
smartphone
a
day. Correct article usage
the
Although
, the solution will be present
in Replace the word
presented
this
essay.
On the one hand, there are many reasons of
Change preposition
for
un-achievement
Correct your spelling
unachievement
equility
about responsibility towards career, social Correct your spelling
equality
relationship
, and personal horizon. First of all, Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
full
pressure of Correct article usage
the full
live
on the person plays a Replace the word
life
a
significant reason Remove the redundancy
apply
on
Change preposition
in
poorly
Change the word
poor
outcome
. To explain more, if the individuals Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
work
more than 12 hours in a day with lots of assignments to do, they will not have free time
to enjoy o
Correct your spelling
or
set
with family. Correct your spelling
sit
For example
, teachers work
half of the day and they countinuse
Correct your spelling
continue
prepare
for Fix the infinitive
to prepare
next
session at Correct article usage
the next
their
home. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Thus
, it hard
Add a missing verb
is hard
to
them to achieve Change preposition
for
right
balance Add an article
the right
to
diverse sides in life . Change preposition
between
Moreover
, Some employees connot
Correct your spelling
cannot
desgin
their daily Correct your spelling
design
time table
which Correct your spelling
timetable
lead
to Change the verb form
leads
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
aim
achievement. Correct your spelling
of
According to
entertainment programs that appering
new, people Correct your spelling
appear
watching
their mobile Wrong verb form
watch
f
for hours without awareness.
Correct your spelling
phones
On the other hand
, the solusion
Correct your spelling
solutions
of
Change preposition
to
this
issue are many. Firstly
, the government should to
establish new systems to Change the verb form
apply
safe
workers’ rights. Replace the word
save
For example
, The UAE lillustrates
Correct your spelling
illustrated
illustrates
list
of rules to keep Correct article usage
a list
work place
Correct your spelling
the workplace
more safe
and give employees Flexible Replace the words
safer
work
time
that allow
them to do their duties towards other personal activities. Change the verb form
allows
Furthermore
, people must emaliorate
themself by Correct your spelling
ameliorate
put
clear purpose to reach it and they must Change the verb form
putting
handel
their Correct your spelling
handle
time
on useful things such
as enhance personal skills.
To
conclusion, to reach Change preposition
In
satisfaction
point Correct article usage
a satisfaction
on
Change preposition
with
work
and other crucial part
Change the wording
another crucial part
other crucial parts
in
Change preposition
of
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
live
, they must know Replace the word
life
causes
of Correct article usage
the causes
Correct article usage
the problem
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
then
try Correct word choice
and then
hardly
to over Change the word
hard
it
.Correct pronoun usage
them
Submitted by sheikha1996mohammed on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay does attempt to tackle the question and covers the basic points, but it falls short on clarity and depth. Ensure your arguments are well-developed and fully explain the causes and solutions.
coherence cohesion
Structuring your essay with clear paragraphs that logically flow from one to another will greatly enhance the overall coherence and cohesion. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or aspect.
grammar
Your essay would benefit from fewer grammar and spelling mistakes. Simple sentence structures can help reduce errors and increase clarity.
conclusion
Your essay's conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, which helps leave a strong impression on the reader.
task achievement
You included relevant examples, such as the case of teachers, which help illustrate your points more concretely.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!