Some people fail in school, but end upp being succesfull in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life?
Education is substantial in our
life
, some may be able to pursue it while
some may not. But, for some people
education is not a hindrance for them to be successful in Add a comma
people,
life
as they have the capacity and determined to do whatever they want to achieved
in Change the verb
achieve
life
. In this
essay,I will discuss why some people succeed in life
even if they fail in school
.
Firstly
, not all people who fail at school
is
not intelligent enough to finish their studies, but there were circumstances that Correct subject-verb agreement
are
arise
during the time they were in Wrong verb form
arose
school
. For example
, as a teacher in profession
,I have encountered lots of students who were unable to finish their studies because they Add an article
the profession
are
dumbed or failed Wrong verb form
were
in
their course,but rather they Change preposition
apply
have
other problems Wrong verb form
had
in
Change preposition
with
family
and financial Add an article
the family
aspect
that resulted Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
to
not Change preposition
in
finished
their Wrong verb form
finishing
school
.
Secondly
,it is already proven that someof
the richest man in the world didn't Correct your spelling
some of
finished
Change the verb form
finish
school
but became one of the successful
Correct quantifier usage
most successful
individual
we can look at. Change to a plural noun
individuals
For instance
, Manny Villar who is one of the richest man
in the Philippines didn't finish Change to a plural noun
men
school
due to
poverty,but with his determination and persistence
he was able to succeed in Add a comma
persistence,
life
. In addition
to that, even without a diploma
he can earn through schooling, he was able to learn through his experiences.
In conclusion, being successful in Add a comma
diploma,
life
does not mean you have to finish your study
,but with determination and Fix the agreement mistake
studies
perseverance
you will be able to reach your dream.Add a comma
perseverance,
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coherence cohesion
To improve clarity and coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that is directly related to the main argument. Additionally, avoid run-on sentences and work on punctuating your sentences accurately to make your essay easier to read.
task achievement
When discussing examples, try to elaborate on how those examples directly relate to your main argument. This will help to strengthen your points and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This is effective in organizing your ideas and arguments.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, such as mentioning Manny Villar to illustrate how someone can succeed despite not finishing school. This makes your arguments more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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