IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Employers should focus on personality rather than qualifications and experience when choosing someone to work. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#employers #focus #personality #qualifications #someone #work
When employers choose someone to work with, it is often argued that
personality
 is more important than qualifications and experience.
However
, I don’t agree with
this
 statement because
personality
 doesn’t have anything to do with how well one performs on the
job
.
In contrast
, skill and years of experience would determine who’s the better
candidate
 for the work.
Personality
 depicts the characteristics of a person. The reason why employers focus on certain personalities as workmates is probably because employers believe
personality
 plays a vital role in the dynamic of a team.
However
, in terms of finishing a project, it’s the expertise
that is
 needed not characteristics. In
this
 case,
personality
 is complimentary rather than mandatory. Comparing a company’s
job
 requirements between the qualifications and experiences of a
candidate
 would be the objective tool to assess how well a
candidate
 fits the criteria.
Job
 requirements are a list of qualifications, experiences, and personal attributes that a
candidate
 must have to be considered for the
job
 position.
Furthermore
, having a workmate who doesn’t have the essential skills to do the given task might affect the workflow of a team.
In contrast
, a workmate who is qualified and has years of experience would create additional value for the team. In conclusion, I don’t agree with employees who prefer to choose workmates based on
personality
 compared to qualification and years of expertise, because it would do more harm than good. In my opinion, selecting a
candidate
 based on
personality
 would potentially eliminate skilled candidates who might perform better.
Submitted by zefanyagyu on

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task achievement
Try to bring in a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, even if you are arguing against one side. This shows comprehensive skills and understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Include specific examples to illustrate your points better. Examples add depth to your arguments and make them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on diversifying your sentence structures. Incorporate a range of complex structures to demonstrate linguistic capability.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices appropriately, but make sure they are varied and do not seem mechanically inserted.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cohesive
  • harmonious
  • similar values
  • attitudes
  • compromising
  • productivity
  • creative sectors
  • creativity
  • bias
  • hiring process
  • lack of diversity
  • customer interaction
  • interpersonal skills
  • empathy
  • technical skills
  • disregard
  • professional development
  • devaluing
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