Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

We are living in
such
a modern era where
students
are the future of our country.
As a result
, to satisfy pupils’ interests and demands,
subjects
are getting more and more diverse.
By contrast
, some people hold the notion that trying to gain a certification is more essential.
However
, from my perspective, every individual should have the opportunity to experience whatever they wish to learn without pressure. It is evident that the education sector is presently gravitating towards more comprehensive values compared to the previous moment. In certain countries,
subjects
have become pretty monotonous and less engaging in
students
’ attention
due to
teaching methods that emphasize the accumulation of specialized knowledge, neglecting the passions and interests of the
students
.
Consequently
, it is unsurprising that a portion of
students
aspire to explore diverse
subjects
to experience lessons they truly cherish and would like to study. To achieve that, the school can adjust the schedule and switch to a traditional teaching method combined with experiential activities, tailored
according to
the interests and majority opinions of the
students
.
Students
also
need to participate fully whether they are enrolled, and adhere to the rules of these extracurricular
subjects
.
On the other hand
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those who are concerned about qualifications and future job opportunities,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may choose to focus entirely on their core
subjects
to meet the requirements desired by potential employers. Of course, they are not necessarily obligated to participate in other extra lessons, as
that is
not their primary objective. On the whole, I believe that everyone’s choices regarding their educational path are unique, and the most important thing is to identify one’s own goals in order to achieve them.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
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Ensure that each main point is fully developed and supported by relevant evidence or examples. This can improve the clarity and completeness of your response.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs. This will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views on the topic, which shows a comprehensive understanding and provides a balanced discussion.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, making the essay well-structured.
task achievement
The writer makes a strong case for experiential learning, offering thoughtful insights and suggestions.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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