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Band 5.5

In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

#countries #people #areas
One of the widely discussed issues at present is the causes and consequences of rural-urban youth movements.
However
, there is no absolute agreement as some
people
 find
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 in the
city
 beneficial,
while
 others consider everything associated with overpopulation. Surely, there are both pros and cons to crossing but I believe
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. One of the widely discussed issues at present is the causes and consequences of youth moves from rural to urban areas. One of the main positives of relocations is that
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 large number of opportunities that the
city
 offers, the culture of newcomers increases significantly.
For instance
, in cities, you are more likely to find better universities, a large number of students for communication, and a wider range of
specialties
Change the spelling
specialities
show examples
 for study. Another advantage is that new acquaintances appear, the
city
 expands and more and more
people
 of different cultures and nationalities have the opportunity to become friends.A good example here is
people
 who come to the
city
 for training can make good connections. Make friends,
meet
Correct word choice
and meet
show examples
 possible employers. Turning to the other side of the argument, substantial overpopulation. It is gradual but has serious negative consequences for life.
Such
 as problems with transportation, grocery shopping,
lack
Correct word choice
and lack
show examples
 of employment. Another major disadvantage is communication difficulties experienced in dating.
People
 who are used to living the way that suits them have a hard time accepting change. The worse the situation at home, the harder it will be to settle in a new place. Having weighed everything mentioned up, we can come to a conclusion that. Changes
such
 as moving for personal growth are very positive for the newcomer but over time can have a negative impact on the infrastructure around them.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
Ensure that the thesis statement clearly outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to substantiate your points.
coherence cohesion
Improve the flow between paragraphs by using linking phrases and connectors.
coherence cohesion
Consider removing any repetitive sentences to maintain better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to refine the introduction to avoid unnecessary repetition and clearly state the topic upfront.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the causes and consequences of rural-to-urban migration, covering important points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a structured format with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
There are clear points laid out for both the advantages and disadvantages of the migration topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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