IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In the future, all cars,buses and trucks will be driver less.The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driveless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driver #people #vehicles #passengers #driveless
In
this
 modern era,
while
 artificial
intelligent
Replace the word
intelligence
show examples
 is taking over the world and technology is more advanced than ever before, the trend of being
driver less
Correct your spelling
driverless
show examples
 is more popular.
This
 essay will discuss both perspectives in support of
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 latter. On the one hand, vehicle automation would help
passengers
 reduce unnecessary social contact.
Human
Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
show examples
 just went through one of the most dangerous diseases
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
20th
Correct article usage
the 20th
show examples
 century - Covid 19 pandemic which
raise
Wrong verb form
raised
show examples
 awareness about the importance of social distancing, and
thus
,
driveless
Correct your spelling
driverless
show examples
 vehicles would be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an outstanding solution.
For example
, in China, after Covid 19 pandemic, the number of automated
taxies
Correct your spelling
taxis
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased by three times compared to
this
 figure before the period, thanks to the subsidies from the Chinese government.
On the other hand
, there is no doubt that ensuring safety for
passengers
 is still a challenge for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies developing
driveless
Correct your spelling
driverless
show examples
 transport. Even though, automation in
manufacture
Wrong verb form
manufacturing
show examples
 has been used in
factory
Fix the agreement mistake
factories
show examples
 since the end of
20th
Correct article usage
the 20th
show examples
 century, it was only introduced in public as a kind of transport when
Tesla
Correct article usage
the Tesla
show examples
 Model Y was released in 2005 by Elon Musk.
Therefore
, there are numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
non-estimated situations
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
show examples
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
happen
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
passengers
.
For instance
,
according to
 the statistic of China Morning Post,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
 year, there
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 over
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
show examples
 accidents
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
uncontrolable
Correct your spelling
uncontrollable
 vehicles from various
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
such
 as MG, Hanal or Tesla.
To sum up
, it is inevitable that the hazard
causes
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
 by autopilot would be a concern for
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.
However
, the application of autopilot usage growing in size will reduce social contact for citizens which help to minimize the risk of
widespreading
Correct your spelling
widespread
other disease
Change the wording
another disease
other diseases
show examples
 like
Correct article usage
the corona
show examples
corona virus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
show examples
.
Therefore
, in my perspective, the advantages of trends as
such
 overweight the disadvantages if the company can minimize the risk of
unmanagable
Correct your spelling
unmanageable
show examples
 autopilot to
passengers
.
Submitted by buihuuminh99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar
Work on your grammar and spelling. For example, 'artificial intelligent' should be 'artificial intelligence' and 'uncontrolable' should be 'uncontrollable'.
Supporting Points
Strengthen the support for your main points. Make sure to provide clearer, more relevant examples to back up your arguments.
Transitions
Improve the transitions between your ideas. Make sure each sentence and paragraph flows naturally into the next one to maintain reader engagement.
Presentation of Ideas
You have effectively presented both perspectives of the issue.
Structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame the discussion.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the prompt well and provided a complete response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: