You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Nowadays, many schools find it profitable to sell unhealthy food and sugary drinks to students during lunch breaks. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
In recent times, educational institutions have provided their
students
variety of processed foods
and sweetened drinks for them to buy in order to get a high profit. This
essay believes that the development of this
activity will have a negative impact on students
' health, and will raise their parents
' financial problems.
To begin
with, school
is the place for every pupil to learn and develop skills for their future. This
means school
plays an important role in guiding their students
in life. Selling unhealthy foods
and drinks to them simply because of money will vanish the image of school
as a moral institution. This
will also
lead to children having health issues such
as obesity and weakened immune systems. For instance
, many canteens in public schools sell high prices of unhealthy foods
such
as french fries and burgers to the students
in order to get more money.
In addition
, this
issue will also
give financial
burden to the Correct article usage
a financial
parents
if their kids end up being hospitalized due to
the illness that was caused by dirty foods
in the school
canteen. Many families with lower economic status will have to go through the hardships of paying the hospital bill. To illustrate, a lot of parents
who work as a farmer still have hospital debts for their children's illnesses.
In conclusion, I believe that the school
is wrong to manipulate their students
to buy unhealthy foods
and sugary drinks for their own benefit. This
practice needs to be stopped because it will affect the student's health and cause financial problems for their parents
.Submitted by ethia.oktaviani on
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task achievement
Strengthen the examples to provide more concrete evidence supporting the main points. Specific statistics or studies could be mentioned to reinforce arguments.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the connection between paragraphs with more transition phrases and logical bridges. While the essay flows reasonably well, some transitions can feel abrupt.
task achievement
Clear and concise argument; the essay's stance on the topic is well-articulated throughout.
coherence cohesion
Good structure with an effective introduction and conclusion that reiterate the main points.
coherence cohesion
Main points are logically organized and adequately supported with relevant arguments.