IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The maps below show the village of stokeford in 1930 and in 2010

The maps below show the village of stokeford in 1930 and in 2010
#maps #show #village #stokeford
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The map illustrates changes that happened in Stokeford between 1950,
2010
Correct word choice
and 2010
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Overall
Linking Words
 there were major changes, it
become
Wrong verb form
became
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more
Correct article usage
a more
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 modernized area, In 1930 there were
bridge
Fix the agreement mistake
bridges
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 in
eastern
Correct article usage
the eastern
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 of the map,
then
Linking Words
 in 2010 it didn't
changed
Change the verb form
change
show examples
, but the time there were
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
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leads
Wrong verb form
leading
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 to
south
Correct article usage
the south
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,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
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 it was removed In 2010, and there
were
Change the verb form
was
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 farmland
in contrast
Linking Words
, in 2010 it was
demolited
Correct your spelling
demolished
 and
houses
Use synonyms
 built
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 before there was primary school later 2 extra blocks built there, Regarding to garden in the East,
instead
Linking Words
 of it was large
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
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,
however
Linking Words
 coming to 2010 large
houses
Use synonyms
 turned into retirement
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
, a shop
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
located in
west
Add an article
the west
show examples
 was removed
2010
Change preposition
in 2010
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, and again built
houses
Use synonyms
,
during
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the 1930
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
western south there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 huge farmland,
however
Linking Words
 in 2010 it wiped out and once again
houses
Use synonyms
 built there
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words houses with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demolition
  • residential areas
  • infrastructure
  • urbanization
  • land use
  • farmlands
  • notable buildings
  • layout
  • developments
  • economic growth
  • population growth
  • amenities
  • transformation
  • expansion
  • reconstruction
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