The charts below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows that salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparisons where relevant.

The charts below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows that salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. 

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
show examples
about
destination
Add an article
the destination
show examples
of
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduating
show examples
anthropology after finishing
degree
Correct article usage
a degree
show examples
course from
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
along with
tables charts illustrating the
percentage
of salaries after 5 years
work
Change preposition
of work
show examples
categorized by type of employment.
Overall
, it can be seen that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
graduated
Add an article
the graduated
show examples
anthropology
Change preposition
in anthropology
show examples
choosed
Correct your spelling
chose
show examples
full-time
work
,
while
part-time
work
with
post graduated
Add a hyphen
post-graduated
show examples
study
was the least popular.
Goverment
Correct your spelling
Government
sector had the highest
paying
Replace the word
pay
show examples
rate among other types after 5
year's
Change preposition
year of
show examples
work
.
According to
pie
Add an article
the pie
a pie
show examples
chart,
Full time
Add a hyphen
Full-time
show examples
work
dominated others with 52%, followed by
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
work
with 15% and unemployed with 12%, respectively. Full-time
postgraduated
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
study
and part-time
work
with
postgraduated
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
study
are the least
interested
Replace the word
interesting
show examples
, accounting for 8% and 5%, respectively. Looking at the table chart, private companies offered a lower
paid
Replace the word
pay
show examples
at 25,000-49,999 dollars with 10%, which was the largest share,
while
had only 30% for
higer
Correct your spelling
higher
payment
at over 100,000
dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
show examples
.
In contrast
,
Correct article usage
the Goverment
show examples
Goverment
Correct your spelling
government
sector showed
Correct article usage
a relative
show examples
relative
Change the word
relatively
show examples
high
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
percentage
with 50% in
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
at over 100,000
dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
show examples
. Meanwhile, Freelance consultants had the highest
percentage
in 75,000-99,999 dollars
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
with 40%. In summary,
full-time
Correct article usage
a full-time
show examples
job was the most popular for graduated anthropology.
However
, part-time
work
with
postgraduated
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
study
was
choosed
Correct your spelling
chosen
show examples
by the smallest number.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
sector had the highest
percentage
of
high
Correct your spelling
high-paying
show examples
payment
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. In
comparsion
Correct your spelling
comparison
, private companies provided lower
paying
Replace the word
pay
show examples
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
for employment.
Submitted by sippakorn.wet on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, work, study, payment with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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