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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework and households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework and households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country
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The given charts illustrate the proportion between the percentage of people having electrical devices and the
period
Use synonyms
 spent doing domestic housework in a span of 89 years from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that refrigerators were the lowest of the 3 devices and ended up being the most thing used similar to vacuum cleaners.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, washing machines were the most electrical machines used by residents but it increased slightly. So, in the end, it was the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 percentage among them. In 1920, all electrical devices had an upward trend.
However
Linking Words
,both refrigerators and vacuum cleaners had a sharp increase scoring 100% and 90% respectively in 1980, washing machines had a small rise achieving 60%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 plummeted to just above 15
hours
Use synonyms
 per week in the same
period
Use synonyms
. Following that, refrigerators remained steady until 2019.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, vacuum cleaners increased sharply to 100%. After that, it stayed static until the end of the
period
Use synonyms
 of study.
In addition
Linking Words
, the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 dipped to 10
hours
Use synonyms
 per week
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by seifhasseb222 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words period, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • electrical appliances
  • housework
  • time frame
  • variables
  • trends
  • significant milestones
  • turning points
  • correlation
  • reduction
  • influenced
  • societal implications
  • quality of life
  • gender roles
  • economic implications
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