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Band 5

It has become easier and more affordable for people to travel to other coutries. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? Give your opinion and relevant examples from your experience

#people #travel #coutries #development
Technology
 has changed the way we
travel
 and these new developments promise an even more interactive and exciting experience.For most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
, it has become easy to
travel
 around the globe with growing
technology
.In my opinion, it is
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
development
 because of sharing cultural values and low
travel
 packages. To commence with the statement that travelling to other
countries
 has become easier and accessible for
people
 because of increased
technology
 utilization and advancement of infrastructure.
However
 many
people
travel
 by road or airplane and use more convenient ways of
travel
 at low cost.
Additionally
,
Many
Fix capitalization
many
show examples
countries
 provide discounts on
travel
 packages that make tourism affordable.
For example
, one research has shown that 80% of individuals like to
travel
 by aeroplane around the world
.
Correct your spelling
Therefore
therefore
travel
Correct your spelling
travelling
show examples
 to other
countries
 is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 efficacious
development
.
On the other hand
, travelling has become inexpensive and easier because most
people
 like to
travel
 to visit cultural places in their own country
as well as
 in other
countries
.They love to share their cultural values with each other that's why
people
 use many Ways to
travel
 like airplanes, ships ,and buses.
Moreover
, it
also
 has a great impact on the economy of
countries
.
For instance
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one research
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has shown that TAJ MEHEL in India is the most visited place by
people
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 other
countries
.
Therefore
 it is a positive
development
.
To sum up
 ,it has both
prob
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
 and cons of travelling to other
countries
 because of the
excess
Replace the word
excessive
show examples
 use of
technology
, but in my opinion, it is a very optimistic
development
 that makes it easier for
people
 to move around the world.
Submitted by madihaali8470 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly from one to the next. Use linking phrases and conjunctions to create more seamless transitions.
task response
Make sure to fully develop each main point you introduce. Supporting your arguments with more specific examples or detailed explanations can significantly enhance the clarity and depth of your ideas.
task response
Avoid repetition and redundancy to keep the essay concise and to the point. Every word and sentence should add value and contribute to the overall argument or narrative.
introduction conclusion
The introduction lays out the topic clearly and gives a concise thesis statement, setting up the reader for what's to come.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance, bringing closure to the essay.
complete response
The essay addresses the prompt fully, offering both a viewpoint and examples to support it.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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