IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that it's a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it's important to keep working life completely seperate from social life. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Keeping
work
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 life entirely unconnected from socialisation is thought by some masses;
however
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, others opine that socialising with workmates during evenings and weekends is a great idea. In my opinion, separating
work
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 life from the personal is a good option as it distresses the human being and breaking away from the
people
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 with whom
people
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 interact every day is essential. Admittedly, spending the evening or weekends with the
people
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 from
work
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 increases the bond between them, as during that
time
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,
people
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 have open
time
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 to discuss their opinions openly, which eventually leads to reducing the misunderstandings that often occur between them.
Moreover
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, getting together outside working hours gives co-workers a chance to get to know each other more and build good relationships.
For instance
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, a lot of multinational companies now organise events after working hours, which has directly affected productivity.
Therefore
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, socialising with coworkers is fruitful for both employees and employers of the companies. On the antithetical side, a lot of
people
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 do not prefer to change their topic of conversation even if they hang around with their teammates, which results in ruining the best
time
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 for the other
people
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.
In addition
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 to
this
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,
people
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 working at lower levels sometimes discuss the pros and cons of their
work
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 or even have a habit of gossiping.
As a result
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,
instead
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 of reducing the conflict, it makes an excuse to escalate the issue. In my opinion, spending
time
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 with families after
work
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 is very important, which has been neglected by many
people
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, which is a cause
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a lot of separation between families.
Furthermore
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, not all colleagues are of the same age and can not become friends, so the
time
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 outside
work
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 should be spent with friends and family
instead
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 of co-workers. In conclusion, spending
time
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 with workmates is a great opportunity to create a good bond between the teams;
however
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,
due to
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 long hours at
work
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,
people
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 should spend
time
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 with their loved ones after
work
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.

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structure
Be clear about your view from the start and keep it in the end. State a single position in the introduction.
development
Give a clear reason for each side in separate parts, and link each to your own view.
language
Use shorter, simple sentences and plain words. Avoid long, tricky phrases.
examples
Add specific, real examples and explain why they support your point.
language
Check word choice and spelling. Some words are not used in a natural way for IELTS.
content
The essay tries to cover both views and to give a personal opinion.
structure
There are examples such as company events after work.
content
There is a clear overall idea that work and life should have balance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • supportive work environment
  • personal growth
  • diverse perspectives
  • conflicts of interest
  • professional boundaries
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • innovation
  • collaborative projects
  • hierarchy
  • authority
  • nuanced decision
  • social and cultural expectations
What to do next:
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