IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Education is not a luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free for everyone irrespective of personal wealth. Do you agree or disagree?

#education #luxury #right #wealth
According to
 some, education is a right that everyone must possess, regardless of the level of richness. It is agreed that
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 an educated person is not affected by wealth
thus
 I firmly agree that spreading literacy, herewith
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
level
Correct article usage
the level
show examples
 of it is
auspicious
Add an article
an auspicious
the auspicious
show examples
 attribute to societal outcomes,
as well as
 eliminating
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
 debt of students.
Submitted by kirkagoglesmail on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement that indicates whether you agree or disagree with the statement.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and coherent point.
coherence cohesion
Create a clear introduction that lays out the main points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Conclude your essay by summarizing your main points and restating your position.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic of education as a basic human right.
task achievement
The claim that education should not be affected by wealth is clear.
coherence cohesion
The essay makes a good point about the societal benefits of higher literacy levels.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental right
  • accessible
  • social mobility
  • personal and professional development
  • overall development
  • equality
  • social disparities
  • access
What to do next:
Look at other essays: