Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree?

Most humans think that media coverage of well-known personalities
harmed
Wrong verb form
harms
show examples
our kids. In my opinion, I completely disagree as people consider these celebrities as their idols and learn various qualities from them. The primary reason why a celebrity has positive effects on little ones is
due to
their discipline and fitness. In recent times, public figures have keener to look after themselves by following a strict diet and workout styles, which encourages our children to eat healthy food and to be fit when they watch them on television.
For example
, I started avoiding junk food after watching my favourite cricketer's interview about his eating habits.
Moreover
, you
also
learn discipline and time management from them which eventually helps you in your entire life. Another critical reason that I believe is equally important for our younger generation is to learn leadership skills from them. In every aspect of our lives, we will definitely become a leader in the near future, either as a parent or as a mentor of a team.
Furthermore
, one can learn calmness, decision-making capability, and skills to deal with difficult situations by seeing world leader interviews.
For instance
, I have started supporting the weakest member of my team and made sure he works on the subjects where he is good and strong.
To conclude
, the media plays a key role in promoting our celebrities, and in return, they
also
contribute to the world by encouraging young children to follow a healthy, disciplined, and fruitful life.
Submitted by carolwan18 on

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task response
The essay presents a clear position on the topic and provides several strong arguments. However, some points could be further developed with additional examples and thorough explanations. For instance, elaborating on how celebrities' positive influence manifests in children's lives would strengthen your task response.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your essay follows a clear structure with distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should present a single idea related to your argument. Additionally, ensure clear logical connections between paragraphs. For example, while transitioning between points about discipline and leadership, linking sentences can help maintain the flow.
task response
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, making your position clear from the start. This helps frame your argument effectively.
task response
The main points are well-supported by relevant examples from personal experience, which enhances the credibility of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are logically structured, following a clear progression of ideas. This makes your essay easy to read and understand.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Celebrity culture
  • Glamorization
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Self-esteem
  • Scandals
  • Role models
  • Moral development
  • Mental health
  • Influence
  • Exposure
  • Social media platforms
  • Charity work
  • Inappropriate behavior
  • Perfection image
  • Negative impact
  • Inspire children
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