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In a number of countries , some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #sum #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
It is irrefutable that transportation systems are increasing day by day in different countries where some say that it is necessary to
funding
Change the verb
fund
show examples
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
money
 on
builting
Correct your spelling
building
 new rail lines for fast
jounrey
Correct your spelling
journeys
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 some believe that the
money
 should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
be spending
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 rejuvenating public transport which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 already existed in the country. I
shell
Correct your spelling
shall
show examples
 give my viewpoints with reason in the next paragraphs. Before making
decision
Add an article
a decision
show examples
 regarding new railway lines, the government should focus on improving current transports which can make people's journey comfortable by adding extra
buses
 or train
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
schedule
Add an article
the schedule
show examples
. To add to it, by having more
buses
 or
train
Correct subject-verb agreement
trains
show examples
 in the places, it means less crowd in the transport which will make the long journey relaxable for commuters.
Moreover
,
City
Correct article usage
the City
show examples
muncipal
Correct your spelling
municipal
 can start
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
buses
 for
Correct article usage
the handicaped
show examples
handicaped
Correct your spelling
handicapped
 or elder age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 which can make their commute smoother and
overall
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smooth travel can
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 the number of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
.
For example
, since AMC has introduced new
buses
 in the
city
, the number of
passenger
Change to a plural noun
passengers
show examples
are
Verb problem
has
show examples
 increased.
The constructing
Correct article usage
Constructing
show examples
 new
rails
Change the noun form
rail
show examples
 lines is not
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 idea and even,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 is needed in between the cities for fast travelling. Because some people are travelling from one
city
 to another
city
 for their or study, the federal should spend some
money
 to
bulid
Correct your spelling
build
 new rail
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
 that can
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 commuters to save their time
as well as
money
.
For instance
, In
mumbai
Change the capitalization
Mumbai
show examples
, people had to travel long
journey
Fix the agreement mistake
journeys
show examples
 by changing
buses
then
 taxies and
then
 they were able to reach their destinations
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
, since,
mumbai
Change the capitalization
Mumbai
show examples
 corporation has built new rail in between the
city
, it has become easy for them to make travel easy and
time saving
Add a hyphen
time-saving
show examples
. Tu put in
nutsell
Correct your spelling
nutshell
, I pen down saying that, the government should focus on both sides. But before allocating the
money
, they should identify first
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
what is required in the
city
.
Submitted by ap064911 on

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task achievement
Your response addresses both views and provides relevant examples. However, to achieve a higher score, you should expand on your ideas and present them more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a more organized structure. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different points and include clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Linking words and phrases can be used to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both sides of the argument and included relevant examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, is clear.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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