It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early stage. Punishment is necessary to help them learn the difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#children #difference #right #stage #punishment

In today's world, a question of how important is it for children to know their rights and wrongdoings, is it better for them to learn it at an early stage or maybe a later stage? More importantly, a lot of

parents

agree that

punishment

is indeed necessary to help them learn the

difference

. In

this

essay, I will speak more about

this

subject and tell you to what extent I agree with that statement. On the one hand, Indeed children must learn the

difference

between good and bad at an early stage because

this

can help them in their social life as they grow up. Learning to always do what's right can help them in a multitude of ways. A good example of

this

is, if you ever meet someone and you find him speaking to you in a nice way, standing up for you or even giving you a small compliment you will find yourself drawn to that person, and maybe, finding them to be considered a friend.

Also

, Knowing the fine line between what's right and wrong at an early age can help the

child

grow up to be a good addition to society. The perfect example that shows

this

is, a study that was made in 2013 on why some orphans grow up to be successful shows, that there is a 68% chance that if

Change the article

show examples

orphan grows up in a strict god-fearing family, they are more likely to become successful

On the other hand

, some

parents

think that

Punishment

is indeed necessary to help them learn the

difference

. I personally agree with the statement but, I think that a

child

should be punished

according to

how big the problem is. Sometimes too much

punishment

can scar a

child

, change their personalities or even make them weak and scared to stand up for themselves. In 2019 a new study was found that shows, that even though strict

parents

can make a

child

overly strict can break them, almost 25% of children living with "overly strict

parents

" have a mental disability called "FTD"

also

known as Fear Ten Disorder,

this

disorder happens if a parent punishes their kids too much in conclusion, I fully agree with the statement that

Punishment

is necessary to help kids learn the

difference

between what's right and wrong but,

parents

must be careful not to overdo it.

Submitted by almansouradel1 on Sun Sep 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph serves a clear purpose. The introduction should set the context and state your thesis clearly, while body paragraphs should each discuss a single main idea fully supported by examples.

task achievement

Expand on your main points with more detailed and relevant examples. The essay currently lacks depth in supporting its statements with concrete examples.

coherence cohesion

Be careful with grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity and professionalism.

introduction

The essay introduces the topic clearly and provides a valid perspective.

conclusion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your stance.

logical structure

The essay maintains a logical flow of ideas, making it easy to follow the argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

394 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early stage. Punishment is necessary to help them learn the difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some people think it is better to wear uniforms at workplace? Do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that preventing an illness is better than curing it. Researching and treating diseases is too costly, so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that we learn best through in person interaction with the teacher in a classroom. Others believe that learning is more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

These days it is neither possible nor desirable for most people to stay in the same job throughout their working life. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?