It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early stage. Punishment is necessary to help them learn the difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree
In today's world, a question of how important is it for children to know their rights and wrongdoings, is it better for them to learn it at an early stage or maybe a later stage? More importantly, a lot of
parents
agree that punishment
is indeed necessary to help them learn the difference
. In this
essay, I will speak more about this
subject and tell you to what extent I agree with that statement.
On the one hand, Indeed children must learn the difference
between good and bad at an early stage because this
can help them in their social life as they grow up. Learning to always do what's right can help them in a multitude of ways. A good example of this
is, if you ever meet someone and you find him speaking to you in a nice way, standing up for you or even giving you a small compliment you will find yourself drawn to that person, and maybe, finding them to be considered a friend. Also
, Knowing the fine line between what's right and wrong at an early age can help the child
grow up to be a good addition to society. The perfect example that shows this
is, a study that was made in 2013 on why some orphans grow up to be successful shows, that there is a 68% chance that if a
orphan grows up in a strict god-fearing family, they are more likely to become successful
Change the article
an
On the other hand
, some parents
think that Punishment
is indeed necessary to help them learn the difference
. I personally agree with the statement but, I think that a child
should be punished according to
how big the problem is. Sometimes too much punishment
can scar a child
, change their personalities or even make them weak and scared to stand up for themselves. In 2019 a new study was found that shows, that even though strict parents
can make a child
overly strict can break them, almost 25% of children living with "overly strict parents
" have a mental disability called "FTD" also
known as Fear Ten Disorder, this
disorder happens if a parent punishes their kids too much
in conclusion, I fully agree with the statement that Punishment
is necessary to help kids learn the difference
between what's right and wrong but, parents
must be careful not to overdo it.Submitted by almansouradel1 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph serves a clear purpose. The introduction should set the context and state your thesis clearly, while body paragraphs should each discuss a single main idea fully supported by examples.
task achievement
Expand on your main points with more detailed and relevant examples. The essay currently lacks depth in supporting its statements with concrete examples.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity and professionalism.
introduction
The essay introduces the topic clearly and provides a valid perspective.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your stance.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical flow of ideas, making it easy to follow the argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite