Wealthy countries should accept more refuge and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A common solution for
refugees
seeking shelter is for
neighboring
Change the spelling
neighbouring
show examples
countries
to provide basic necessities to said
refugees
, some people believe that
this
problem is not
addresed
Correct your spelling
addressed
enough and that more
countries
need to be doing it. I agree and
this
essay will discuss.
Countries
suffer from issues that
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
their living conditions to worsen and eventually unsafe for their inhabitants.
Countries
like
this
are forced to send out
refugees
to avoid a mass loss of population and to ensure the safety of their citizens,
hence
they seek out aid and shelter often from bordering
countries
due to
the ease of access and less time consumption.
However
,
countries
are less likely to treat
refugees
the same way they treat their
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
, generally only providing the bare minimum. There could be multiple factors to explain the reasoning behind the motives a country would do
this
. The first being
Submitted by millionmiles.indonesia on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear conclusion. Make sure to include a concluding paragraph that summarizes your main points and restates your position.
task achievement
The essay briefly mentions multiple factors behind countries' motives but doesn't elaborate on them. Develop these points further to provide a more complete response.
coherence cohesion
The introduction could be clearer. Instead of saying 'I agree and this essay will discuss,' specify what aspects you will discuss.
task achievement
The essay addresses the necessity for wealthy countries to provide basic assistance to refugees, which directly relates to the task.
task achievement
The essay provides some rationale for why refugees seek aid from neighboring countries, showing an effort to explain main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Humanitarian obligation
  • Financial resources
  • Infrastructure
  • Labor shortages
  • Essential services
  • International human rights conventions
  • Social cohesion
  • Cultural diversity
  • Public services
  • Inclusive practices
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